I recently read something that made me stop and think about how we treat ourselves. Many people, me included, have a lot to learn about what we envision for ourselves and our daily lives. The reality of what we compare ourselves and our lives to is most likely very different than what we see or choose to see.
I am always the first to admit that I don't have this life thing all figured out. Some people appear on the surface to have it all in their corner, but often they are hurting, lost or long for something we don't see. Most mothers have seen that one woman that is all put together, her children listen to every request and she handles every moment with grace and ease. You might look at her, start to make comparisons and find yourself falling short. But there is so much we don't see in the lives of others that make it truly fruitless to compare.
Maybe it is that person in the gym that seems to complete every exercise with what looks to be little or no effort. They lift the 60 lb dumbbell like it is 5 lb and squat to the floor. You find yourself hiding in the corner afraid of showing what you feel is inferior ability. Truth is you don't know their story, the path they have led to get there and what is possibly years of hard work they have endured.
Many of us travel similar paths but cross at varying times on our journeys. The appropriate human reaction is to greet others as our travels collide, encourage/celebrate/provide support, if requested, and move forward with focus on our own path. Everyone has gifts, stories and experiences to share, but you have to quiet your own ego long enough to truly learn from what they have to teach us.
Our lives are unique to us, our marriages are not the identical someone else, our children are a combination of genes and traits that no one else has. Therefore, it is unfair to look to the outside for a picture of what we should expect to happen in our own lives. In my experience, we are most often much better parents than we give ourselves credit for, have marriages that are stronger than we realize and have more blessings than we could ever count.
Along the same lines, don't let someone else dictate how your life, marriage or family should function. This is a personal determination made from within the core group and should not be open for others to judge. If you aren't living in that house, then appreciate their right to make the decisions they feel are best for them. If it is not effecting you, there is really no need for involvement.
Last but not least, don't ever, ever, ever compare your material wealth to someone else's. We each live our lives with different areas of focus. Some are very career driven and give a lot of time and effort to work. Many enjoy spending money on houses, cars, material possessions. Then others trade career for more time with family, less income and less material things.
Not one of these ways of living is 100% the right way to live your life. It is a very personal decision that every family makes, and it should be respected by those on the outside. It is equally as important to accept the choices you make for yourself/family and not compare where you are to others. Whether someone has more or less than you makes them no less of a person. We all make choices that bring us to where we are and to what we have in life. It in no way depletes or inflates our importance in the whole of life.
Move forward on your path and don't allow your idea of what you should be doing come from the view of others or your view of what perfection looks like on the image of another. This is your journey so live it to the fullest and celebrate the amazing beauty that it is.
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