Unfortunately, I know this feeling well and remember the self talk that is currently happening inside my head. It is that voice that tells you it is OK to eat another slice of pizza or that one more piece of Halloween candy won't really make that big of a difference. This very sweet supportive voice, that is really out to get you in trouble, seems so confident that you can eat like crap one more day and turn everything around tomorrow. However, there is one problem. The voice returns the next day to delay getting back on track just a little bit longer. Sometimes she can even talk you into waiting through the weekend because really Monday is a better day to get back on track. Amazing how many of those days came and went in my past and nothing ever changed. The fact is that if you want to change you need to do it that instant and not wait.
Although I have been very consistent with exercise over the last few years, eating right comes and goes with me. I find it the hardest thing to keep under control, but I also find it is the most beneficial to losing weight. Therefore, I must find a way to get myself off this self destructive track of eating crap and then telling myself it is OK. When I sit back and truly think about all the reasons/excuses I have given myself over the years to eat things that I know I shouldn't it is almost comical. One day I get a pass because it was a stressful day or maybe I am feeling a little sick, how can you possibly eat anything other than comfort food when you have a cold, or maybe the world is just not aligned properly that day. Whatever the crazy reason I give myself for allowing that piece of cake, that pizza, the nighttime bowl of cereal it is nothing more than justification for what I know is wrong.
I know there will be slips and days where I eat bad things, but I need to get that back to rare occasions and not a daily occurence. So tomorrow I will steer back to that familiar road and try to get back on track.
The old saying is that nothing worth doing is ever easy. Losing all this weight and the daily battle to keep it off has been anything but easy. However, the benefits I have reaped from all this hard work have been well worth it.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
How Goodwill, Testosterone and a Fallen Tree Positively Impacted My Weekend
We spent a much needed weekend away from home, and as with most trips I awoke early each morning to workout. This is a priority in my day for myself and for those that will be around me. Everyone benefits from my workouts because of my happiness for the remainder of the day. I am pleased to say that not only did I get to workout each day, but I even threw in some extra workouts.
When I say extra workouts I don't mean I spent more time in the gym. These are workouts that I incorporated into my days. With this lifestyle I find that my weekend days and vacation days are filled with thoughts of ways to get out and be active.
On Saturday, my mom, sister and myself went shopping at the Goodwill Outlet for 3 hours. And yes this really is a pretty strenuous workout. Not only do you build muscles carrying 5-10 pounds of clothes on one arm, but you are strengthing the other arm as it sorts through piles of clothing. My sister even commented the next day how sore her arm was from this adventure. So there you have it. Next time you are going shopping, skip the cart and carry your goods for an extra workout.
On Sunday my sister's church was doing a volunteer day out in the community. Our first choice project, baking (not much of a workout), was full. Therefore, we got sent to the Carolina Raptor Center. After lunch we were given three choices for projects. First choice was hauling away a fallen evergreen tree. Second was pruning and cleaning around the visitors center and third was cleaning the trails. As has been the case for a while now, my immediate choice was the tree. Why?? Because it was the best possible strength and cardio workout. My how things have changed.
Not too many years ago I avoided most manual labor, and now when given the choice I run toward it. My mother and sister even commented about the fact that my eyes immediately lite up at the mention of the task of removing the tree. I do have to admit I was pretty excited about the opportunity.
It turned out to be a good 2 hour workout of dragging very large limps, rolling and carrying large logs. I got a great workout. Sure I got a little scrapped and bruised, but it was a whole lot of fun.
One of the highlights of the tree clearing was watching a humorous display of testosterone at work. I was the only woman that chose this task, so I was with a group of 5-6 men. In the beginning it just us all working together clearing the area....then came the axe...I have learned that if you give a group of grown men an axe and a large tree they become beasts. It was nothing short of a group of cavemen out there. I could not help but stop and watch them at times.
I can't do the scene any justice, but they were using an axe to finish cutting a very large log that was left. With each swing of the axe they came more alive. Soon they were all around this large tree trunk coming up with ideas for moving it, logistics on cutting it and where they were going to put it. It was one of the most entertaining things I have seen in a long time. Best part... Kent was one of the most active and vocal members of this newly formed caveman tribe. I saw a part of him that I don't think I knew existed. I honestly thought at the end they would start stripping off their shirts and banging on their chests. To see men in this element was priceless.
I guess sometimes it pays off to pick the manly project on volunteer day. You never know what you will get to experience.
When I say extra workouts I don't mean I spent more time in the gym. These are workouts that I incorporated into my days. With this lifestyle I find that my weekend days and vacation days are filled with thoughts of ways to get out and be active.
On Saturday, my mom, sister and myself went shopping at the Goodwill Outlet for 3 hours. And yes this really is a pretty strenuous workout. Not only do you build muscles carrying 5-10 pounds of clothes on one arm, but you are strengthing the other arm as it sorts through piles of clothing. My sister even commented the next day how sore her arm was from this adventure. So there you have it. Next time you are going shopping, skip the cart and carry your goods for an extra workout.
On Sunday my sister's church was doing a volunteer day out in the community. Our first choice project, baking (not much of a workout), was full. Therefore, we got sent to the Carolina Raptor Center. After lunch we were given three choices for projects. First choice was hauling away a fallen evergreen tree. Second was pruning and cleaning around the visitors center and third was cleaning the trails. As has been the case for a while now, my immediate choice was the tree. Why?? Because it was the best possible strength and cardio workout. My how things have changed.
Not too many years ago I avoided most manual labor, and now when given the choice I run toward it. My mother and sister even commented about the fact that my eyes immediately lite up at the mention of the task of removing the tree. I do have to admit I was pretty excited about the opportunity.
It turned out to be a good 2 hour workout of dragging very large limps, rolling and carrying large logs. I got a great workout. Sure I got a little scrapped and bruised, but it was a whole lot of fun.
One of the highlights of the tree clearing was watching a humorous display of testosterone at work. I was the only woman that chose this task, so I was with a group of 5-6 men. In the beginning it just us all working together clearing the area....then came the axe...I have learned that if you give a group of grown men an axe and a large tree they become beasts. It was nothing short of a group of cavemen out there. I could not help but stop and watch them at times.
I can't do the scene any justice, but they were using an axe to finish cutting a very large log that was left. With each swing of the axe they came more alive. Soon they were all around this large tree trunk coming up with ideas for moving it, logistics on cutting it and where they were going to put it. It was one of the most entertaining things I have seen in a long time. Best part... Kent was one of the most active and vocal members of this newly formed caveman tribe. I saw a part of him that I don't think I knew existed. I honestly thought at the end they would start stripping off their shirts and banging on their chests. To see men in this element was priceless.
I guess sometimes it pays off to pick the manly project on volunteer day. You never know what you will get to experience.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Give Thanks
As I head out for my daily therapy, exercise, I can't help but feel grateful for all that I have been given. First and foremost I thank God that I have the physical ability to run/jog/walk, for this beautiful day to enjoy being outside and for helping me see the need for change in my life so many years ago.
I give thanks to my mother who will be watching my children while I get to enjoy partnering with Kent for today's workout. When I get to enjoy time with one of my favorite people doing one of my favorite things it just starts the day out right.
Kent is not always the most willing participant in my exercise ventures, but he is a good sport. He has not come to my level of obsession with working out, but any chance he gets, he is right there beside me for my adventures. It is nice to share the time and to have his company.
May today remind you of the many ways your life has been blessed. Take a few minutes to be grateful, remind the people in your life of your thanks and celebrate life each day.
Until next time.....
I give thanks to my mother who will be watching my children while I get to enjoy partnering with Kent for today's workout. When I get to enjoy time with one of my favorite people doing one of my favorite things it just starts the day out right.
Kent is not always the most willing participant in my exercise ventures, but he is a good sport. He has not come to my level of obsession with working out, but any chance he gets, he is right there beside me for my adventures. It is nice to share the time and to have his company.
May today remind you of the many ways your life has been blessed. Take a few minutes to be grateful, remind the people in your life of your thanks and celebrate life each day.
Until next time.....
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
How Did I Ever Live Without You??
Now that I have found you it seems like I must have felt like there was something missing without you in my life. I remember a time I felt my life was complete without you, however, it has been made better because of your presence in it. This statement applies to so many things in my life.
Three of the most important people in my life came at a time that I did not expect, but the amazing impact has been felt daily since their arrival.
When I first met Kent I was not interested in finding the man I was going to marry or even a serious relationship. However, I am grateful that there was a power at work that knew better and helped me open up to these possibilities. Kent continues to be a great partner in this journey through life. I appreciate the relationship we have, the support he provides and the family we have created together.
With each of our children life has changed in the most amazing ways. They have each been the best thing that has ever happened to me. To become a parent changes your focus, provides new clarity and makes your life take on a new meaning. They continue to amaze me each day through their growth, intelligence, independence and love. They are definitely the most amazing gift, and I love that I get a front row seat as I watch them grow. They also help keep my priorities in the right place.
Moving to Virginia was definitely not something we spent years planning or expected as part of our lives. There were a lot of concerns about how the children would adjust, how secure the job would be and leaving a place that was home to enter an unfamiliar land. But as a family we decided to not look back and wonder about possibilities, but instead to change direction and see where it would lead us. Great experiences have resulted from this move.
These are great examples of ways life takes you in new directions, oftentimes in unexpected ways. Don't be scared to take that chance or make the change because it might be the best step you ever take.
Three of the most important people in my life came at a time that I did not expect, but the amazing impact has been felt daily since their arrival.
When I first met Kent I was not interested in finding the man I was going to marry or even a serious relationship. However, I am grateful that there was a power at work that knew better and helped me open up to these possibilities. Kent continues to be a great partner in this journey through life. I appreciate the relationship we have, the support he provides and the family we have created together.
With each of our children life has changed in the most amazing ways. They have each been the best thing that has ever happened to me. To become a parent changes your focus, provides new clarity and makes your life take on a new meaning. They continue to amaze me each day through their growth, intelligence, independence and love. They are definitely the most amazing gift, and I love that I get a front row seat as I watch them grow. They also help keep my priorities in the right place.
Moving to Virginia was definitely not something we spent years planning or expected as part of our lives. There were a lot of concerns about how the children would adjust, how secure the job would be and leaving a place that was home to enter an unfamiliar land. But as a family we decided to not look back and wonder about possibilities, but instead to change direction and see where it would lead us. Great experiences have resulted from this move.
These are great examples of ways life takes you in new directions, oftentimes in unexpected ways. Don't be scared to take that chance or make the change because it might be the best step you ever take.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
That Magic Number
When I weighed over 300 pounds even being less than 200 seemed impossible. I am happy to say that is has been over 18 months since stepping on the scale to a number that began with 2.
I would imagine this journey is the same as with a lot of large accomplishments in life. When you look at it from a distance it seems unobtainable, impossible and all you see is the hard work necessary to get there. Once you get the momentum going and you reach ever closer to that line, it starts to come into a realistic view. Before you know it you are there. You bath in the glory of a moment, you celebrate, you feel great and there is a new piece of yourself discovered. Then your attention turns to this new body you have created and ways to yet again change it. You begin to see the extra 30-40 pounds as the new enemy that must be conquered.
Although I can look back and physically see through pictures the accomplishment and the transformation I have achieved, my perspective has changed. As a person that weighed 280 + for years I remember being frustrated when I heard people the size I am now or smaller talk about being overweight. As I saw it they were the perfect size, and I wanted so badly to need to only lose the 20-30 pounds they were fussing about. I now see so much of it is about where you are, where you have been and your personal experiences. I wanted to see a weight less than 250, then 220, and then below 200. Now there is a new magical number that I long to see on that scale, however, it continues to elude me.
So maybe it is time for a change, something different to seek, a new goal....maybe even something totally separate from the scale all together. I want to learn to be happy where I am weight wise. I certainly want to continue focusing on eating right and staying active, but I want it to be about enjoying life and no longer a battle with the scale.
For now I will shift my focus to exercise. I have begun to look at my trips to the gym as stress relief, time to relax and time for just me. I will continue to transform my body each day through exercise because this is something that brings a great amount of satisfaction and joy to my life. This journey can not be all about a number on the scale. It is a journey to a healthier, happier and more fulfilling life.
I would imagine this journey is the same as with a lot of large accomplishments in life. When you look at it from a distance it seems unobtainable, impossible and all you see is the hard work necessary to get there. Once you get the momentum going and you reach ever closer to that line, it starts to come into a realistic view. Before you know it you are there. You bath in the glory of a moment, you celebrate, you feel great and there is a new piece of yourself discovered. Then your attention turns to this new body you have created and ways to yet again change it. You begin to see the extra 30-40 pounds as the new enemy that must be conquered.
Although I can look back and physically see through pictures the accomplishment and the transformation I have achieved, my perspective has changed. As a person that weighed 280 + for years I remember being frustrated when I heard people the size I am now or smaller talk about being overweight. As I saw it they were the perfect size, and I wanted so badly to need to only lose the 20-30 pounds they were fussing about. I now see so much of it is about where you are, where you have been and your personal experiences. I wanted to see a weight less than 250, then 220, and then below 200. Now there is a new magical number that I long to see on that scale, however, it continues to elude me.
So maybe it is time for a change, something different to seek, a new goal....maybe even something totally separate from the scale all together. I want to learn to be happy where I am weight wise. I certainly want to continue focusing on eating right and staying active, but I want it to be about enjoying life and no longer a battle with the scale.
For now I will shift my focus to exercise. I have begun to look at my trips to the gym as stress relief, time to relax and time for just me. I will continue to transform my body each day through exercise because this is something that brings a great amount of satisfaction and joy to my life. This journey can not be all about a number on the scale. It is a journey to a healthier, happier and more fulfilling life.
Monday, October 21, 2013
It has been too long....
I can't believe how long it has been since I wrote here. A pretty significant event has occured. Although I have been very consistent with cardio workouts for years, I have not found much success with strength training until recently.
In July, I found a weightlifting routine that did not look too time consuming, but promised results. I figured with my history of starting and stopping quickly what did I have to lose. Today I completed the last Monday in the 12 week routine! I almost can't believe what I have accomplished. In just a few days I will complete my first full 12 week weightlifting routine, and I am pleased to say you can see a difference when I flex my muscles. (ha, ha)
Now it is time to plan for what is next. With the confidence in what I can do, the results I have achieved and some support from those around me, I feel good about this next step toward new strength.
On another subject, I have a new project that I want to complete. I really want to create a video of pictures and videos that document my weight loss journey so far. I am sure there will be more milestones down the road, but I want something to represent up to this point. Getting started on this has proved to be hard because I know how I would like for the end result to look, but getting there seems to be eluding me. Something to look forward to.... I hope.
Lastly, there are a few things I find that help remind me of where I want to head in life, where I want to lead my children and how I want to inspire other people in health and fitness. I like to look at pictures of the old me and find they help remind me of all the reasons I don't want to get back to that place. I try to encourage my children to find ways to remain active, talk to them about fitness and even include them in workouts at home. The final piece is missing for me. I want to inspire others to make the changes they want, Whether it is through support, encouragement or being someone to just listen. I thought about becoming a trainer, but I don't think that is the right place. Therefore, I continue to search for areas to explore and ways I might help others on their journey.
Till next time.....
In July, I found a weightlifting routine that did not look too time consuming, but promised results. I figured with my history of starting and stopping quickly what did I have to lose. Today I completed the last Monday in the 12 week routine! I almost can't believe what I have accomplished. In just a few days I will complete my first full 12 week weightlifting routine, and I am pleased to say you can see a difference when I flex my muscles. (ha, ha)
Now it is time to plan for what is next. With the confidence in what I can do, the results I have achieved and some support from those around me, I feel good about this next step toward new strength.
On another subject, I have a new project that I want to complete. I really want to create a video of pictures and videos that document my weight loss journey so far. I am sure there will be more milestones down the road, but I want something to represent up to this point. Getting started on this has proved to be hard because I know how I would like for the end result to look, but getting there seems to be eluding me. Something to look forward to.... I hope.
Lastly, there are a few things I find that help remind me of where I want to head in life, where I want to lead my children and how I want to inspire other people in health and fitness. I like to look at pictures of the old me and find they help remind me of all the reasons I don't want to get back to that place. I try to encourage my children to find ways to remain active, talk to them about fitness and even include them in workouts at home. The final piece is missing for me. I want to inspire others to make the changes they want, Whether it is through support, encouragement or being someone to just listen. I thought about becoming a trainer, but I don't think that is the right place. Therefore, I continue to search for areas to explore and ways I might help others on their journey.
Till next time.....
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