That Magic Number

When I weighed over 300 pounds even being less than 200 seemed impossible.  I am happy to say that is has been over 18 months since stepping on the scale to a number that began with 2.  

I would imagine this journey is the same as with a lot of large accomplishments in life.  When you look at it from a distance it seems unobtainable, impossible and all you see is the hard work necessary to get there. Once you get the momentum going and you reach ever closer to that line, it starts to come into a realistic view.  Before you know it you are there.  You bath in the glory of a moment, you celebrate, you feel great and there is a new piece of yourself discovered.  Then your attention turns to this new body you have created and ways to yet again change it.  You begin to see the extra 30-40 pounds as the new enemy that must be conquered.

Although I can look back and physically see through pictures the accomplishment and the transformation I have achieved, my perspective has changed.  As a person that weighed 280 + for years I remember being frustrated when I heard people the size I am now or smaller talk about being overweight.  As I saw it they were the perfect size, and I wanted so badly to need to only lose the 20-30 pounds they were fussing about.  I now see so much of it is about where you are, where you have been and your personal experiences.  I wanted to see a weight less than 250, then 220, and then below 200.  Now there is a new magical number that I long to see on that scale, however, it continues to elude me.

So maybe it is time for a change, something different to seek, a new goal....maybe even something totally separate from the scale all together.  I want to learn to be happy where I am weight wise.  I certainly want to continue focusing on eating right and staying active, but I want it to be about enjoying life and no longer a battle with the scale.

For now I will shift my focus to exercise.  I have begun to look at my trips to the gym as stress relief, time to relax and time for just me.  I will continue to transform my body each day through exercise because this is something that brings a great amount of satisfaction and joy to my life. This journey can not be all about a number on the scale.  It is a journey to a healthier, happier and more fulfilling life.