Taking Time to Heal and Refocus

I have found that being sick can really mess up a good streak of working out and eating right.  It has been a week since I tracked my food and over a week since I last visited the gym.  

This long interruption to what has become my norm was not caused by just a common cold or a simple 24 hour flu. No sir!  This break was courtesy of a super nasty power flu,  That same famous flu that cancelled Thanksgiving plans, kept kids out of school for a week and sent grown men and women to bed for days at a time.  Even in the recovery days we are left with lingering coughs, sore bodies and days before bodies begin to feel normal again.  

During the last week I have craved comfort foods or no food at all.  I have lounged in my pajamas all day eating pizza, ice cream, take out from favorite restaurants, etc...  It was great, well aside from the flu symptoms that is.  However, I know as well as anyone this can't last forever.  If I head down this path much longer, the only thing that awaits me is cellulite, weights that start with a 2 and months of working hard to lose the same weight all over again.  No thanks!  

Although I still have a few days before I can feasibly get this achy body back to the gym, I know the focus needs to be return to exercise and eating right.  This was just another vacation from what must remain my new lifestyle   Sometimes life slows us down with illness and other hard times to help us refocus and return with new strength.  Tomorrow will be the return to tracking my food, and I truly hope exercise can return by the weekend.  

If you took a break from your routine over the holidays due to travel, Thanksgiving feasts and leftovers, take this opportunity to get back on track with a new focus and a positive attitude.    

Mirror, Mirror.... Who the Heck is That Person??

Today I was on the elliptical machine in the gym and checked myself out in the mirror at the end of the room.  I was super surprised to see this very fit looking person.  When I work out I tend to focus on the flabby skin that is flopping around or what looks like a large thigh.  I am pleased to see that it might not be nearly as scary an image to other people.

It still amazes me when I catch just the right glimpse of myself in the mirror and have to look again to make sure that really is me.  The image of myself in my head is still so overweight that I almost forget what I really look like.  I am not a super model, by any means, but I have come a long way.  I just hope that my self image catches up with me someday.

I have roughly 30 more pounds to lose and it is coming off really slow.  It might be months before I finally see that number, but I just keep moving forward.

Everyday holds new challenges, obstacles and decisions.  With each one I try to do my best.  That is really all we can ask of ourselves.  I know to never eat a bad food again is unrealistic, but making it a rare occasion as opposed to a daily activity is realistic.

Motivation Where Art Thou??

I will never tell you that this weight loss stuff is easy and that you never fall off the wagon.  Although I have not fully hit the ground, I am hanging onto the wagon.  I am happy to report that this year has been much better than last.  By November of last year I had done a beautiful jump off the wagon, run the other direction and forgotten all about the right path.  In fact, I had already packed back on 10 pounds.

Sure it does seem to be the time of year when I want to hibernate and pack on the pounds.  I like to blame this on my ancestors that lived in caves.  Each year as they headed into winter they had to add weight to stay warm during the winter months.  Maybe I need to pitch my tent outside each winter.  So when you are freezing this winter I will be nice and warm in my layer of fat.

The good news is that I am feeling more motivated with each day.  I am also feeling pretty determined to not allow this weight to creep back on this year.  I am finding that my motivation is much lower than a month or two ago.  I am holding onto the cardio workouts, the eating comes and goes, but the strength training has completely vanished.  I am truly amazed by the minds ability to be completely committed to something and then turn it off without much warning.

I continue to take things one day at a time.  If I miss a cardio workout, I focus on getting it done the next day.  If I have a day where the eating is completely off course, I track it and do better the next day.  Even if the bad habits last for a few days, I just have to make a fresh start the next day.  It is all about forgiving and moving forward.

Tomorrow is a new day and full of possibilities.  May it be filled with strength, happiness and love.

Cleaning up Your Life...

Why is it that we often keep something in our lives that we know is not good for us?  This could be bad food in our house, a bad habit that affects our health mental or physical or a friend/lover that is no good for us.  It is fascinating how you know that severing ties with this thing will bring you to a whole new level of health, but each time the thought crosses your mind you find an excuse to keep it around.  You don't want to experience life without this thing, but is it really making your life better.

Most people would look at your situation and see how easily it can be changed.  They would think you are so silly for keeping it in your life.  Just get rid of that food that you know will hurt your weight loss. Stop visiting the corner bakery that has those donuts you can't refuse, even if it is a family tradition.  These things probably even seem trivial to others.  However, when you are sit down to contemplate life without some of these things it just does not seem right.

Everyday is a step further in the journey of life, and my trip to better health.  I am beginning to look at more regarding my mental health.  That is where the above analysis comes into play.  I am looking at bad habits and people that don't enhance my mental and physical health. I feel my mental health can have a huge impact on my physical health and my success on the weight loss portion of my journey.  Sometimes it is not easy to say goodbye to things that have been a part of life, but it can open doors to things you never considered.

Set out today to start new healthier traditions, build up the relationships in your life that make you stronger, let those that hurt or weaken you fade and build new healthier habits.  Whether it is your mental or physical health enhanced by these changes you will feel better, stronger and refreshed.

May your life be full of love, happiness and strength.  

Frustrated!!!!

I have recently become very frustrated with the exercise portion of this journey.  I have been very deligent in exercising six days a week.  The cardio has become a normal part of my life.  I don't get up as early as I once did with the excitement of another workout, however, I get the exercise in before the day is through.  This is important to me because I find exercise makes me feel better, look better and eat better.  If I put in a good 45 minutes in the gym, I am less likely to eat bad food for fear of erasing all that hard work.

Lately I have a lot of questions about what cardio I should be doing, what strength training I should be doing and what foods I should eat to fuel these workouts appropriately.  I have read a few articles, talked to people in the fitness field and I don't feel much closer to the right answer.  The articles are most frustrating because one will say keep your heartrate low and another will say to do intervals, which raise your hearrate. 

At this point, I want someone to write a plan for me.  I need a list of what I should do and when for the best results.  Of course I have also learned that what works for one person may not necessarily work for me. 

My main complaint is this:  I work pretty hard each week to eat right and exercise.  I want to make this time as worthwhile as possible.  Therefore, I want to make sure I am getting the most results from every moment of exercise I put into a day.  So I will keep researching and looking for the exact right recipe for success.  Until I find that magic mixture I will just keep doing what I am doing.  As long as I am losing weight and building muscle the frustration won't get too bad. 

Do You Have a Mount Everest?

I wonder how many people have the sort of goals and dreams in life that drive them to stop at nothing to achieve them.  I can't say that I feel like I have ever had that kind of determination to reach something.  Certainly I work hard at this weight loss and health thing, but I am talking about the type of determination where you will stop at nothing short of the desired goal.

Recently I became very fascinated by the psychology of human motivation and determination. Equally so, I want to learn more about the mental part of me that hinders my success in certain areas. I have thought at times that it might be attributed to self concept.  I am not fully aware of all the impacts being overweight has had to my self image, confidence and self esteem.  More than likely I could benefit from really exploring that area.

I am reading a book about a man's experience while climbing Everest.  This book definitely feeds my interest in human dreams, goals, ambitions and what someone will go through to achieve them.  Never having known anything about climbing Everest I did not realize the length it takes, the horrible circumstances they must endure and the physical discomfort that comes along with it.  This is a great example of a goal or dream that someone will risk anything to achieve.  You have to want with all of your being to climb Everest to endure these things.  So how does someone get to that point...

It seems like a silly thing to risk your life for, but for a lot of these people it is a matter what they feel they live to do.  They can't get it out of their head until it is accomplished.  Of course my other thought is...what would be next???  If you have this life long goal and you finally reach the summit, what's next???  Do you go and find something else or is the satisfaction from that enough to last a lifetime?

I definitely don't understand all the goals that mean so much to others, but that does not make them crazy or stupid.  If someone has a dream or goal that they want with all their being, I say go for it.  It is worse to look back and wonder then to go and conquer your Mount Everest.

Sometimes You Just Have To...

I have been doing great with my eating and exercise.  I have not had a cheat day for a long time, and today felt like a great time for one.  I think I might be taking it to an extreme though.  I have not eaten a healthy thing today, unless you consider the green peppers on the pizza.  However, can you really count a vegetable as healthy when it is on top of hundreds of calories of cheese and bread.

We were busy cleaning the house this morning, and I did not take the time to make breakfast.  Therefore, I grabbed three sugar cookies.  For lunch we had Domino's new handmade pan pizza and some parm bites.  Surprisingly I am not feeling totally disgusting yet, but I would assume that feeling will be here before too long.  The little things my body does to help remind me this is not a way to eat, EVER.

I will probably hate this decision when I step on the scale tomorrow morning, but personally I think these days help me overall.  Eating right and exercising is something that I have to do for the rest of my life.  I give myself these days without guilt, and then tomorrow I will move forward and be back on track.  The going back to healthy ways is the key to these detours off the right path.

Here's to tomorrow that will include a great workout and healthy food choices.

Reasons to Keep Moving Forward

When I get out of a routine it is often hard to get the motivation to get back on track.  The race was a good reminder that I need to keep going because I still have so much more to accomplish.  I am not getting any younger, and I want to get to a certain place physically.  I don't want to look back and wish I had accomplished this goal.  Instead I want to be happy, healthy, fit and look back on all the goals reached.  I also want to run 5Ks, 10Ks, Mud Runs, etc.. with my kids as they get older. So getting back into the workout groove is important.

Today was that day when the workout was back to normal.  Last week meant slowing down in preparation for the Warrior Dash, and this week started out a bit slow while trying to recover.  Today was my first full workout in what feels like weeks.  And...... I feel GREAT!!!

There is something very powerful about a great workout.  Today was one of those workouts where you feel you can't push any further and for a while after you still feel a little wiped.  However, in no time the energy spikes, you feel great, your attitude is lifted and life feels completely perfect.  The feeling after a great workout is like being on a high, but you don't hurt your body or risk getting arrested.  This is one reason I feel drawn to work out.

In addition to this after workout high, I find exercise just makes me feel better overall.  My mental state is a bit more balanced, yes I hear some of your laughing now, and it definitely makes me look better.  Not to mention the unseen affects of the healthier heart and just better functioning body.  You really can't argue with the positives that come from physical activity a few times a week.  If you don't already have a regular exercise routine, I would highly recommend starting one.

Cherish The Great Things

Life is such an amazing journey.  Sure each day may not be perfect and everything we do may not always be considered the right thing.  However, this is our life, our chance to weave the threads we are given into a beautiful masterpiece.  As I look at the artwork that is being created for my life I see areas of sadness, joy, heartache and amazing love. I try to live with no regrets and make the best of what I am given.

Each new day is an opportunity for greatness.  The opportunity to start a new path toward a better life, helping a friend in need or reaching a once seemingly impossible goal.

I believe in loving without limits and experiencing joy in everything.  I also feel you need to let yourself feel pain and sadness.  Living life to the fullest includes experiencing every facet of it, good and bad.  To love deeply you take the chance of being hurt, but to live without the joy of loving someone with all that you are is a much worse tragedy.  If you love someone, tell them every chance you get.

My wish for you today is to cherish the great things about the day, forget the annoying and stressful things and move onto tomorrow.  

The Dash: The Detailed Account

I got a whole 5 hours of sleep Friday night.  I woke up at 5am Saturday and could not go back to sleep.  That was mostly due to the extreme pain in my left foot.  Kent and I left the condo about 7:30 to head over to Berkeley Plantation, the race location.

It rained most of the drive over to the plantation.  We encountered fellow racers in a slight traffic jam near the race site.  They had everyone parking in a field, which was more of a mud pit after the overnight rain.  Vehicles were getting stuck everywhere on the way in.  We got stuck once but made it out and got parked.  Then we headed to the race area, got registered and made our way to the start line.  It was a very festive atmosphere.  From where we were you could see the people finishing from the previous groups.  You could see the smoke from the fire, people climbing the cargo net and the beautiful James River in the background.

They counted down to the start of the race and then fire torches went off at the start.  We ran for .5 mile before the first obstacle.  The first one was barbed wire with mud.  We crawled under the barbed wire, got all muddy.  Next we were off to more jogging, but it was getting a bit harder due to the trail becoming muddier.

It was a while before the next obstacle, which was tires with a cargo net a few feet above them.  You had to go under the net and walk through the tires.  Then we were out and jogging again.  I should mention here that the jogging was in really, really squishy mud at this point.  Very difficult to keep control sometimes and VERY slippery.  Around a few corners I felt like an out of control car.

The next obstacle was where my injuries occurred.  I bruised myself pretty bad.  You had to get over walls that were about chest high.  I hoisted myself up and throw my knee onto the wall.  Obviously throwing your knee onto a wooden wall makes your body a little upset.  Anyway, you had to go over one wall and under another and this repeated six times.  I made it over all six walls, but Kent only had to help on a few of the walls. Since I had been very anxious about this obstacle, I left it with a great sense of accomplishment.

Next was more jogging in mud.  Maybe next time I should train in the rain on dirt trails.  Onto the next obstacle we went.  This one turned out to be my favorite.  We had to wade down into a creek and there were 3-4 logs floating between us and other side.  We had to either go over or under the logs.  I chose to go over them.  I found that to be the easiest way, but looking at the videos it seemed some people had a really hard time with that.  I got to the log, which was pretty high considering we were in chest deep water.  I put my hands up and dove over it, going under water on the other side. I reached the other side a little before Kent, he chose to go under the logs.  Once he was out, we did some more mud running.  This was even more challenging now, because we were soaking wet.  Try it sometime and you will see it is a good workout. 

Soon we were approaching signs that said swimmers and non-swimmers.  Well, I can swim so I headed that direction.  I realized quickly that swimming fully clothed is a bit different than in a swim suit.  My shoes felt like weights being pulled behind me.  We swam out into a lake to a floating pantoon thing, had to pull ourselves up onto it, jump back into the water in the middle and back up onto the other side.  Then it was back into the lake to reach the other shore.  That was not too bad, but swimming in tennis shoes is pretty darn hard. 

The next obstacle was where the race turned a bit sour for me.  It was a large wall you were to climb.  It was angled and had a rope to hold onto.  I attempted 3 times, but I did not make it anywhere close to up the wall.  Therefore, I had to go around it.  I was sooooooo mad!!!  I can even picture myself now stomping off like a 5 year old that did not get their way.  

The next obstacle was a balance beam of sorts.  You walked up a plank, over some boards and then back down on the other side.  It was about 6 feet off the ground.  I crawled across some of it, but did get the courage to stand and walk the rest.  Yes I am scared of heights.

The next obstacle was yet another darn wall which I attempted unsuccessfully.  Therefore, I went around it too.  After the walls were done, we got into the James river and waded for about .125 to .25 of a mile.  Once we were out of the water we were almost to the finish line.

The next obstacle was a cargo net you had to walk over and then a cargo net wall to climb.  It was not too hard.  I made it over that and then on to the fire jumping.  The fire was awesome.  Obviously an obstacle that is all about fun.  It was a lot of fun.

The final obstacle was the mud pit.  Of course when finishing an obstacle race you must be completely filthy.  There was barbed wire again to make sure you stayed as close to the mud as possible.  

After the mud pit was the finish line.  Once we received our medals, it was back into the James River for some mud removal.  It is amazing how getting in a river is nothing to you at that point.

After the race we went to have a free beer.  I have never wanted the free beer following a race before, but this one deserved a beer.

Now comes the unexpected workout of the day and one of the highlights for me.  On the way back to the car, there were vehicles stuck in the mud everywhere.  We helped push a minivan all the way to the exit.  That was a great post race workout, and I felt great for helping someone.

After that we finally made it back to our car.  We were parked on some fairly dry ground, but there was a series of mud pits between us and the exit.  I told Kent I would stay outside the car to help push.  The guy told us to head for the tree line and just keep going toward the exit when we got there.  Well, we seemed to have a great plan, and I was there in case we needed some pushing.  Kent did exactly what we said and took off.  What we did not plan for was the fact that he actually made it the full half mile to the exit.  This was great, but there was a problem…. I was not in the car.  Here enters the second post workout.  I had to run from where we parked to the exit, just a half mile in the mud again.  I passed all sorts of people that were amazed that Kent had made it all the way through the mud.  I was telling them as I ran past that it was great that my car made it out, but that it would have been better if I was in it.  They thought this was as humorous as I did.  I finally made it to the car all covered in mud, hitchhikers and pretty darn happy.  Not only had I completed most of a Warrior Dash that day, but I had followed it with two pretty impressive workouts.

There were times that I was insanely disappointed, but overall it was a lot of fun.  Now to start thinking about what I want to do next.  Got to keep myself motivated.  

A Trip Outside of My Comfort Zone

This past Saturday I took on a new challenge.  I don't think this was something I ever saw myself doing, but the past three years have been littered with accomplishments I could say the same about.  Three days ago I completed my first Warrior Dash.

If you are not familiar with this event, it is a 3.5 mile obstacle race.  This particular one was in Charles City Virginia. The finish line was on the shore of the beautiful James River. One of the obstacles even involved wading in the river. I can't imagine a prettier place for such an event.

Each Warrior Dash has a slightly different set of obstacles.  This one incorporated 12 obstacles, 10 of which I was able to complete. After a few frustrating tries at the other two obstacles, I gave up and went around. I had told myself that true completion of the race was doing all the obstacles. Therefore, skipping these two made me upset.

In the days following the Warrior Dash I have watched videos of the race, looked at pictures and feelings of pride, joy and accomplishment have replaced the feelings of failure.  It was a great day and I accomplished a lot more than I have before.  It was my first attempt, and I now know things I can work on to get better.  

I am starting to think about the next event/challenge.  I hope to continue finding fun ways to get out of my comfort zone and grow stronger mentally and physically.

Today is the day....

In four hours I will begin my first Warrior Dash.  I can't figure out whether excitement can be listed on the set of emotions that are currently racing through my body.  I definitely feel a bit nervous about this endeavor.  People definitely take on much harder challenges, but this is a big one for me at this moment.  Once we get there and are surrounded by the excitement and energy, I am hoping that feeling will disappear. I can't remember now, but I would assume my first half marathon was similar.

We arrived in Williamsburg last night and checked into the resort.  Much to our surprise we have a jacuzzi out on the back porch.  That was a very nice treat for a pre Warrior soak, and I am sure it will feel GREAT tonight after this is all said and done.  Anyway, we are about 45 minutes away from the location of the Dash. Kent and I will head out early this morning, and my family will bring the kids closer to our actual start time.  I really hope they make it in time to see us.

I have been told that obstacle events are a lot of fun and that once you are done you want to do it again.  I am planning for that outcome and on having the best time ever.  See you at the finish line!

Not Feeling Quite Like Myself Lately

On the road of trying to be healthy, eat right and exercise you are bound to have some speed bumps.  This week I have definitely had one.  I have done well with my eating, until tonight.  I have been exercising consistently.  However, there is something just not right about the way I feel lately.  

I have not been feeling like myself and went to visit the doctor.  Among other things we are looking into, she thinks I might be having some anxiety issues.  To help with this she wants me to start doing some breathing exercise.  I never realized how hard it is to settle myself and focus on my breathing.  

Since I visited the doctor on Tuesday, I have attempted the breathing exercise at least 8 times without success.  The instructions seemed very simple.  All I have to do is find a quiet time to sit and count my breaths to 50.  It seemed easy enough when she said it, almost to the point that I figured it would not really work.  Well, at this point I can say that even a few breaths does appear to have an impact, but I have yet to get anywhere close to 50.  I am hopeful that with more practice I will reap more benefits from these breathing exercises.  

The Bully Versus The Fat Girl

So you are probably thinking this will be all about the times I was bullied about being fat.  Although that certainly happened, that is not the topic for tonight.  The bully and the fat girl that star here in cyberspace tonight both reside inside my own twisted mind.

I assume everyone feels pulled by something inside them at different times or debates an action/thought with themselves.  If not, I am okay with just being a total freak.  

I refer to the two forces at play in my weight loss/fitness journey as the skinny girl and the fat girl.  The image of them is similar to that of the angel and the devil that appear when someone is debating a decision.  I have one that is telling me I can't do that workout, succeed at losing weight or will fail at a physical challenge. The other is pushing me harder, helping direct me in healthy decisions or thinking up insane ideas for currently unobtainable goals.

It has recently come to my attention that one of these forces has become a bit of a bully.  The skinny girl, now referred to as "the bully", appears to be hell bent on getting the fat girl to give up old habits, not eat bad foods and workout regularly.  She creates urges to take on a really tough workout or push myself much harder than normal.  I can't help but think the bully is really trying to beat the fat girl out of me.

I have to admit that I am starting to really enjoy this battle that is waging.  I have had some pretty awesome workouts, even my cardio sessions are more intense lately. I have a new creativity when looking at ways to mix up my exercise routines.  This bully seems to be taking a hold of me, and I think I might be in love with her.  I really hope she sticks around.  Although the fat girl has been around for a while, I am ready for a change.

In a Bad Mood?? Find Something To Do!!!

Sometimes my mood shifts and everything seems to be going wrong.  Tonight's nasty mood resulted in making a horrible choice for dinner followed by a bit of sulking.  After I had enough feeling sorry for myself, for NO reason at all, I decided to put myself to work.

If you know me well and have been to my house, you know I like to stay organized.  This is one reason I have a small house, the other being a true fact of laziness.  I figure the bigger the house the more I will have to clean.  Why in the world do I want to spend more of my time doing that?  I love the amount of space I have, with the exception of when there is too much stuff sitting around.  This results in feelings of the house swallowing me up.  Normal people would not find what I call clutter anything more than a few misplaced items, but they drive me insane. I am a little OCD about these things.  Please don't ever move the small rugs in my kitchen because I could likely have a panic attack.  :)

Anyway, with all this nastiness that was built up tonight I decided to go to work purging, organizing and sorting.  The purging part is my favorite.  There is something very powerful about going through things and getting rid of the unnecessary items.  It instantly lifts my mood.  Therefore, after 2 hours of these activities, I am feeling much better.

This also helped me avoid some emotional eating that I felt might be closing in prior to this decision to work around the house.  Now to find just a tad bit more energy to clean out my closet.  I recently went through the clothes that were in the too small pile.  The good news is that many of these items now fit me.  The bad news is that my clothing just expanded by another half.  This is really, really bad news for my closet.  Although we have a gigantic 8x10 closet, it serves many functions.  This results in few places for actual clothes. Therefore, I must make some decisions about what to keep and what to donate.  Wish me luck on this endeavor.

If Only I Could Bottle This...

We are all looking for that perfect weight loss pill, that magic potion that makes us resist temptations, the motivation to stay on track with exercise.  Well, I am really happy to report that I have found it!!!!

I am exercising 6 days a week.  Even when the workout does not happen at the time it was scheduled, I am fitting it in at another opportunity.  Two days this week I missed working out before Kent went to work.  Since this eliminates the possibility of visiting the gym, I have to work out at home.  This can be a challenge to make happen and at many points in my life a workout at home would have NEVER happened.  Once I was home, that meant I was done with all physical activity for the day.  However, the two days this week were different.  I felt there was unfinished business, and I could not rest until the workout was done.   Today's was especially intense, but I feel so much better with it completed.

I don't know where this voice inside my head hides out at times, but she is there now.  She reminds me about how much better I will feel if I get a workout done.  And she stays at it until I get it done.  At times she even comes up with a pretty intense routine to help me feel I really accomplished something good.

I am tracking my food and being very conscious of my calorie and nutritional intake everyday.  I have been planning ahead for when we will be out of the house so I don't make the wrong food choices because of hunger.  When faced with a temptation I am resisting it.

I was truly amazed by my will power tonight.  The kids really wanted pizza, and that is a food that I often can't resist.  Luckily Kent works for that pizza place I don't like; therefore, it is not usually around much.  When we went to pick it up tonight it smelled like heaven in a box.  My mind kept telling me I should just have a few slices, whats the big deal.  Then another one was telling me I would wake up having gained 4 pounds.  To my own amazement, the second voice won.  I came home, immediately made a large taco salad and that was my dinner.  The kids enjoyed their pizza, and I did not have the guilt of giving in to the wrong food choice. 

Another thing that seems to be helping with food choices is the fact that I have started weighing myself everyday.  I know this is stupid and I have never been an advocate for doing it, but I find it makes me much more accountable to my food choices.  I don't want to step on that scale tomorrow and see that I have ballooned up in fluid from that pizza.  Not that I think it is the best thing to weigh yourself everyday, it is certainly working for me.

So, what is the secret???  I have NO idea.  I always use the analogy that it is a switch that flips.  I have absolutely no idea what flips the switch on, what causes it to stay in that position and what causes it to flip back off.  

If I locate this amazing thing that has caused me to eat the right foods, exercise and track everything, I promise to share it.  In the meantime, I will just hope it sticks around forever.  It certainly makes things a whole lot easier.

I Thought This Video Was Interesting

I wanted to share a video that my supervisor sent to us this week.  This man's ideas are pretty interesting and make sense to me.  I thought others might enjoy it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4ZoJKF_VuA

Work in Progress....

I am trying to work on more than just my weight loss and fitness.  I am trying to focus on doing the right things in life.  This could be turning challenges into opportunities, highlighting the positives or making sure every person that has contact with me is better for it.  One thing that has posed a challenge for me is trying to eliminate judgement of others.  

I believe that life is an awesome gift.  I don't want to let someone else live mine for me, nor do I want to tell another person how to live theirs.  Your situation, circumstances and life is all your own.  It is not fair for me to impose my feelings, beliefs or opinions about what I feel you should do.  If you want advice, guidance or support, you can guarantee I will provide it; however, when I cross the line you may thank me and point that out.  Even with advice, I can tell you what I would do in that situation, but in the end it is your life.  You need to make the decision that is right for you.  

Sometimes instead of understanding the purpose of someones goal or behavior we mark it as unusual and weird.  If we took the time to listen, we might be truly inspired by their story.  Some people that have great ideas may hesitate to share them for fear of being judged by another.  This is not fair.  

We are all unique individuals and the beauty of our interaction with others are our differences.  Why then is it so hard for us to embrace those things that make someone else who they are?  I may not believe your political or religious beliefs.  That does not instantly make one of us right and the other wrong.  It just makes us unique. 

I do not think that my beliefs are right for everyone, actually I only truly know they are right for me.  I want to learn more about others experiences and beliefs and do less judging of their life.  If everyone could just take the time to truly listen to someones story without imposing judgement, they might be truly fascinated, learn something new or find an answer they are seeking.  

I want to raise my children to care and love deeply.  I hope to teach them the value in not judging others and instead learn the story that people have to share.  Life is an amazing journey.  We need to spend more time enjoying our own lives and less on telling others what to do with their own.    

Our lives are certainly not perfect; therefore, we have no right to place judgement on another.  We are so quick to make an assumption about someone without even knowing the facts, circumstances and  true reason for the behavior.  Next time you feel the urge to throw out a judgement instead ask questions, learn about them and listen to their story. 

Being Thankful... Changing Lives

I have seen so many quotes lately about being happy with what you have and making the most of things.  I tend to believe that life has a lot to do with what you make of it.  This does not mean that bad things happen because you somehow wished them to. However, what you do with these things and how they impact you has a lot to do with your actions.  

I definitely have some room for improvement in various areas of my life, but I try to focus on being happy where I am on a particular day.  I may not weigh what I want to, have the best day at work, have the time I want with the kids and Kent, but I take that day as it is and make the best of it.  We can so easily get bogged down in all the things that aren't perfect about our lives or we can focus on the amazing gifts we are given each day.    

I got wrapped up years ago on the idea of what I felt would be the perfect childhood for my kids.  Since I grew up in the perfect neighborhood, with the perfect friends (yes ladies you were the best friends to grow up with EVER possible), I wanted them to have the same.  However, my images were not the reality for us for many reasons.  This upset me for a while and then I became aware that my kids were very happy. It was me who was making myself miserable because it was not the situation I had envisioned.  Sometimes adults just think too much.  If we shut up and stop thinking about it and listen to our children, we realize how happy and uncomplicated life can be sometimes.  

As adults we have responsibility, jobs to do, bills to pay, and sometimes all these things can be difficult or stressful.  I totally get this and have been guilty of letting these things overwhelm me completely; however, most, if not all of us, are blessed immensely. We have shelter, clothes, an overabundance of food, beds to sleep in, clean water to drink and family/friends that surround us with love.  There are people all over the world that live without these things each day.  They don't worry about bills that need to be paid or job stress because just figuring out how to feed their family is the priority or finding clean water to drink.  

It is amazing and sad the things we take for granted.  Next time you get upset about laundry not being done or stressed about finances, stop and think about the larger picture.  You are much more likely to find the right solution to whatever you are facing.  

Also, try to improve the lives of those that come into contact with you each day.  This can be a simple smile, an ear to listen, an empathetic voice or an unexpected solution.  I feel that making someone else's day better enhances mine.  Do something nice for someone today and see how it makes you feel.  You might be surprised how easily you make a profound difference in the lives of those around you.  

Oh It Hurts So Good!!!

I was so happy to wake up and be able to get out of bed this morning without any discomfort.  Not time for a celebration yet though!!  It is usually two days after the intense workout that I become intimately acquainted with all the muscles that were utilized.  I am usually intrigued by the use of a new muscle in a workout because you just forget about some muscles until they are sore.  It is similar to the feeling that presents itself after the stomach flu.  "Wow I have that many muscles in my abs," is usually the first thought after the horrible flu symptoms have subsided.  Similar are the sore muscles after these workouts, exciting surprises with every move.  It just sounds like something you want to go out and experience, doesn't it.

Although I am not a real lover of pain, this feeling is something I find myself missing.  I have gone weeks worth of workouts without any muscle soreness at all and I will find myself drawn to a workout that gets those muscles working, changing and developing.  I love to sweat, and I love to be sore from a workout.  Both represent hard work for me.  I thrive on feeling that the time I spend exercising is time well spent.  I do try to remember to give my body some recovery time.  Although I like to push myself, I try to remember to balance.  I am sure some of you will be shocked, but balance is not something I do well.

I will never forget the first time I was really sore from a workout.  It was the first circuit class I completed at work.  It was with the trainer that would quickly become my favorite.  She was always so nice, sweet AND would kill you in a workout.  I think it was that soft, sweet demeanor that tricked you into not realizing how horrid you were going to feel in a few days.  She was always great at pushing me to places I never thought were possible.

So back to that first circuit class.  It might have been the first time meeting her, but she certainly wanted to make sure I would not forget her.  The class was on a Friday and I vividly remember not being able to sit down all weekend.  I am pretty sure I was still walking weird when I returned to work on Monday.  The crazy thing is that I went back for more, week after week.  My old coworkers can tel you there were a lot of days I waddled into work in the beginning of this weight loss journey. People eventually stopped questioning the fact that I was walking like a zombie or someone with a sprained ankle.  It was just Molly recovering from a recent workout. After some time of experiencing the sore muscles from these classes, I did learn that not using the sore muscles was not the right solution.  You need to keep yourself moving and hydrate yourself.  These help the lactic acid move off the muscles and for you to feel better.

Friends Make The Journey Worth Travelling

Friends play various roles in our lives.  As friends we wear many hats.  Sometimes we are a cheerleader, a counselor, supporter or just someone to fill the silence.  I can't imagine my life without the amazing people I call my friends.  I find that they bring a smile to my face and warmth to my heart just when I need it.  They are one of the greatest joys in life.

Throughout my weight loss journey my friends have been an integral part of my success. They have provided support, encouragement and helped me pick myself up when I have fallen off track.  Many have listened to or read countless recaps of workouts, stories about successes, slip-ups and milestones.  I am soo grateful to everyone.  Health and nutrition are some of my favorite subjects these days, so I talk about it A LOT.

One friend has taken on the role/mission to push me physically.  This is the person you love and hate at the same time.  They plant that seed of what seems impossible into your head and push just enough to get you to start contemplating the completion of the task.  At first you laugh and tell them, "sure I will complete that sometime before I die."  But it is not too much longer before you find yourself meeting the challenge.

Tonight's challenge= 100 burpees. (keep in mind my burpees are modified) Still I laughed pretty darn hard when this was first mentioned.  Since I was already 20 minutes into my 45 minute cardio workout, I figured I would take on that challenge another day.  However, like usual my brain had other ideas.  On the way home the thought of completing it just got more and more important to me.  Shortly after getting home, I started on the task. I am happy to report although not beautiful I completed 100 modified burpees.  I might not be able to walk tomorrow, but felt good to accomplish it. Many thanks to my crazy friend that believes I can do WAY more than I think I can.

Not necessarily as extreme or related to physical challenges, but everyone needs someone like this person in their life.  We all need someone that helps us look beyond the limits we have set.  I find there are many mental barriers created completely by me.  I don't often push myself beyond my limits, but there is something about a challenge presented to me that makes me dig deeper and work harder.  I guess the satisfaction of completing it is pretty motivating.  I can't say enough to this friend and all the others for all the ways they support me, encourage me and push me.  I could not do it without them, nor do I want to.  This journey is much more fun accompanied by friends.  Whatever path you take in life, may you always find friendly faces along the way.

***On a side note, Cate joined me for the first 30 or so burpees.  She is such an awesome kid and so inspired by my hard work.  I love it!!!***

The Image From The Past

To go along with the past theme for tonight's blog.  I thought I would include a picture of myself from the past.  Sooooo glad I am no longer that person. 

A Voice From the Past

I found something I wrote after I completed the second season of Biggest Healthiest Loser in 2010.  Crazy how I have written very similar things on here without even remembering that I had written this. I was second place for that season.  It was a great program and taught me soo much about this journey.  I still keep in touch with a lot of people I met during it.  Anyway, I thought I would share what I wrote back then.

 I have been overweight since I was 8 years old.  I remember being teased on the bus about being the fat girl.  I remember boys looking at my differently because I was not the thin girl at the pool or in class.  I remember being embarrassed to weigh over 100 pounds in elementary school

During a few years of high school/college I dieted, yes that horrible D word, and lost 80 or 90 pounds.  However, it did not stay off due to not changing my lifestyle and eating habits.  I put all that weight back on and then some.  This has been the same pattern for the last 10 years.  I would take a little off and then put it back on. 

After I had my daughter, 4 years ago, I decided it was time to change.  I began losing weight but without a real support system it was slow.  I needed encouragement and people around me to keep me going.  Someone must have been reading my mind because I got just what I needed. 

In 2009, RCI and Promotion Fitness introduced Biggest Healthiest Loser.  My friend told me all about it and encouraged me to sign up.  Thank goodness I did.  This started the journey I have been on for the last 15 months.  It has been an amazing experience.  There has been pain, physical and mental, moments of weakness and places where I got completely off track.  The trick has been to not beat myself up and get back on track. 

Why did I do this?  Because I am fighting 26 years of weight.  I am fighting to show my children an example of what a healthy lifestyle looks like and how to prevent becoming overweight. I want to prevent them feeling the pain of being an overweight child and living with the battle that I now face.  I am fighting to show others that they can make these changes. 

This is a fight that won't end when the scale finally shows my goal weight.  I will have to live the rest of my life making the right decisions to never gain the weight back.  Just as an alcoholic will have a predisposition to pick it up again, my body has definitely picked the weight up again and again through the years.  This battle must remain ever present in my life.  Many people that have never experienced a lifelong issue with weight may never understand.

I have learned through this amazing journey that I have impacted others, just as others have had huge effects on my progress.  I am truly honored that my struggles and successes have helped others.  I enjoy sharing my journey with others to gain support and encouragement.  However, in the end it is up to me to fulfill this obligation I have to myself and my family. 

I have met some amazing people throughout this journey and I am grateful for each of them.  The Promotion Fitness staff has been invaluable and if not for them I would not be where I am today.  My coworkers, my girls, you know who you are, my family and most importantly my husband. Kent fell in love with me when I was over 100 pounds more than I am now.  His unconditional love and support has been invaluable.  He continues to get up every morning to help me start my day at 5:00 AM and works out with me any chance he gets.  I could not ask for a better partner in this. 

The only advice I have for anyone in anything they need to accomplish is:

Start today!  Don't put it off one more day.  Gain the support of those around you because they will be your encouragement and help guide you through.  If you fall off, get right back on. 

New Challenges

I have completed a hand full of races over the years with lengths from 5K to 13.1 miles.  I will definitely do more of those in the future, but a new challenge has been placed in my fitness path.  With the encouragement, well to be honest, harassment from a dear friend I signed up for the Virginia Warrior Dash.  Since I felt this task was more than I wanted to take on alone, I recruited Kent to join me.  On a side note, the awesome thing about my husband is that he will always go along with my crazy ideas of things that we should do together.  

The Warrior Dash is about as easy as you can get when it comes to obstacle races, and it seemed like the most logical place to enter this arena.  Still I wanted to mix up my training some to include strength work.  However, I did not want to do just traditional weights in the gym.  I found an awesome site that is for people preparing for Spartan Races, which is something I hope to tackle in the future.  I receive a workout of the day, and new ideas on fitness training have been introduced to me.  I love the creative workouts that usually consist of things everyone has access to without a gym.

I have added a countdown to my phone that tells me the number of days that remain until the Warrior Dash.  This morning it became even more realistic when I saw 14 days.  That is only two weeks!!

So with only 14 days remaining till the race I have started to really think about what workouts I want to fit into my time.  This weekend I hope to get out and do some none traditional work.  One thought that has presented itself is to find a playground and spend an hour climbing walls, jumping over things and any other creative thing I can come up with.  Then I can take the kids along and they will be entertained too.  Not your traditional exercise, that is for sure.

Finding your Limits and Testing Them

Tonight's workout was all about variety, pushing myself and getting out of my comfort zone.  I love workouts that make me sweat, and I don't mean a little glisten.  Nope folks, I love works that leave me dripping in sweat.  This makes me feel like I have really worked hard and made the time worthwhile.  I doubt it is a definite indicator of either, but makes me feel good nonetheless.

I don't go there too often, but I like to take a workout to the limit at times.  I feel that it is good for my training and helps me improve in all physical areas.  My belief is that you never really know what kind of effort you are giving if you don't know where your edge lies.  I have also read a lot about taking yourself out of you comfort zone to get real progress.

During these workouts I find it more important than usual to listen to my body.  I want to push myself, but I am certainly not stupid about it.  It fascinates my how much your body will tell you, but you have to be willing to listen.  Don't sell yourself short by not doing your best.  If you are going to spend the time doing something, make it worthwhile.

Hard Breaks and Lessons Learned...

I find that if you look hard enough you will find an excuse.  Whether it is not to clean the house, workout, eat the right foods, there is always some reason you can tell yourself that the time is not right.  I have found that if you wait for that perfect time to do things in life, it never comes.  You have to make the current time the right time.

If you want to make a change, do it now.  Don't talk yourself into starting tomorrow, next week or when the circumstances are perfect.  I did this so many times with food or exercise.  I would tell myself we will start exercising and eating better next week.  Then I would go on an eating spree for whatever number of days I had until the deadline.  Even in the time I have been focusing on these changes, I would go completely crazy and have a Papa Johns pizza feast, and tell myself this warranted a four day break.

"Of course, I would jump back on track Monday."  "No harm with a little break." "Everyone needs a break here and there, right?" "My hard work deserves this." These were some of the things that ran through my head.

Hard work does not deserve what this does to it.  If you have spent time, energy and sweat accomplishing something, a few days could completely erase some of the progress gained.  Not to mention it could add pounds that will put you days, weeks back from where you were before the little break.  There was another problem I encountered with this theory.  Many times that day came and went without returning to the right path.  Therefore, the break of 3-4 days would turn into weeks or even months.

After many failed times using this method when slip ups occurred, I changed my thinking.  If I veer off course on eating or exercise, I just correct it the next chance I get.  There are no longer deals made with that fat girl that is camping out in my brain.  She gets her moments of glory now and then, whether it is pizza, ice cream or a day/maybe two without a workout.  However, she does not get to celebrate long before I am back on course.

We all make mistakes now and then, but it is very important to make sure we learn from them and move forward.  Don't beat yourself up over a bad decision, missed opportunity or going off the course to your goal.  Just pick right back up where you left off and move forward.

The Plan For Success...

One thing that has always contributed to my success, really the failures too, has been whether I have a plan and ways to hold myself accountable.  You can wake up tomorrow and say you will lose weight, but that does not make it magically happen.  You need a plan about how you are going to do this and research could even be involved once you have determined the method.

My plan for weight loss and health has been to lower calorie intake, monitor carbohydrates and exercise.  Some of the ways I maintain my focus is to track my food each day.  This provides accountability to everything that enters my body.  A few times in the last 4 years I have stopped keeping a food log, and each time the weight started to creep up faster and faster.  Also, if I see a change in my weight or the way I feel, I have a reminder of some possible culprits. You might feel this will be too time consuming, but I think tracking takes about 10 minutes of my whole day.  It has been a very valuable tool for me.

Some people would feel that having a set schedule for exercise is easiest for them to stick with a plan.  This has proven to fail in my life, therefore, I try to be as flexible as possible.  I wake each morning with a few possible time slots for exercise. If one falls through, there is a back-up.  This may not work for everyone, but it has eliminated a hurdle I encountered a few times.

Another great accountability source for me has been awesome friends that remind me of my goals.  This is not always through actual conversation about my weight loss or exercise.  It can be a text or email about workout tips, food analysis, discussion about their workouts, etc..  Just having these subjects to discuss each frequently helps me remain focused.

Having a plan and ways to hold myself accountable has been important to my weight loss journey, but it can relate to many other areas of life. Success throughout life is not going to happen without work and determination.  If it is worth spending the time doing, you should get the most from your hard work.  

Your mission can vary greatly from mine, but many of the factors are probably the same.  Whether is is staying away from a person that is no good for you, eating the right foods, spending less money, managing stress, much of your success will be based on whether you have a plan and accountability. Create the path and visualize your success.  Once you have the ground work done, get started living your life to accomplish it.

Oh and don't forget to grab a few people to take the journey with you.  I promise their support and encouragement will become invaluable.  It sure has for me.
   

Easy For You To Say....

Even if you have the exact same circumstances, you may never know exactly how it feels to be someone else in that situation.  We are uniquely our own entities and journey through life in many different ways. It is a collection of our life experiences that dictate a lot of our actions and reactions. This is one of the many miracles of living a life that is uniquely our own.  

Something that seems so obvious to others is not always so easy for us.  The happily married woman can so easily tell the single woman to get herself out there, don't be afraid to get hurt again.  Easy for her to say when it is not her heart on the line.  The fit and active person looks at the overweight person struggling to do what seems so simple and does not understand what is so hard.  What is easy for one person might be a huge hurdle in another persons life.  It is much easier to say I could do it or you should just do its.  Heck it is even easier to tell ourselves we will change something than it is to take that first step to actually follow through.  Be cautious with the words of wisdom you provide to others and remember it is easier said than done.

Barriers and Small Steps Toward Success

For a few years of this journey I have created images of the person I would like to be.  Sometimes these are not the most realistic, but I want to push myself as close as this old post children body can get to that image. This is how I feel about it, but somehow there is something blocking me.  The hardest part is that this barrier is not something I can just hop over or detour around.  Instead it is something inside me.  

I don't know whether it has to do with self concept, self esteem, not fully believing in my physical abilities or something else.  I know that I can push myself to some serious extremes.  I can work out at the gym until I literally feel like throwing up, but when it comes to certain things there is a mental block.  

One of these was in today's workout. They are called box jumps. I am sure most of you know what they consist of or can guess.  It is just a matter of jumping with both feet off the ground onto a surface that is higher and in front of you.  I feel 100% confident that I can physically do them, but I can not get my feet off the ground.  I have tried holding onto things, having Kent help me, and nothing works.  There must be something mentally stopping me from achieving these.  A similar thing happens with burpees.  I typically do the modified version that has a stepping motion instead of the hop back and forward.  I can and have done it with the hop, but each time I attempt there is a moment where a lot of talking myself into it occurs.  

Of course I could just skip these areas of the workout, but that would not make me any closer to overcoming them.  Therefore, I will keep trying and researching new ways to train myself to be stronger mentally and physically for those things which challenge me the most.  I have come a long way, but these are the things that remind me how much further I have to go.  

I watched a very inspiring video about a group of wounded soldiers that completes a Spartan Race a few weekends ago.  One of them did it on an artificial leg and missing an arm.  These men are true heros.  Not only have they faced the situations that caused the injuries, but now they get out there and physically challenge themselves against so many obstacles.  They don't let anything stand in their way.  

We all have things you can relate to my burpees/box jumps.  It is that one thing that you see yourself doing, feel confident you can do, but then the time comes, it can't be done.  This could be related to work, relationships,weight loss, exercise, life changes, and many other things.  We have two choices in these situations either we turn around and let it beat us or we grow stronger each day and eventually overcome.  I encourage you to take a long look at the obstacles you face, and do something today to bring yourself one step closer to overcoming them.  May you find success in an area that once seemed unattainable.  

Surprises, Support and Encouragement

This journey has been full of surprises; some good and others not as much.  I am a true believer in the path life takes being less about crazy coincidences and more about a plan.  I have always felt that each person that enters our lives, whether for a moment or forever, has a reason or purpose.  I often wonder where I would be without some of the people that have made this journey what it has been for me.  

The decision to lose weight and become healthy was one only I could make.  Whether to share my hopes, dreams and goals with others was hard.  The thoughts of what if I fail, what will they think of me, will they ever believe in me again, rang loud and clear through my head.  But there was a voice that said, how much do you truly believe in yourself..won't the support of others help...when you fall won't they pick you up, brush you off and help push you along further than before?  A true friend would never stop supporting you because of failed attempts.  Instead they will be there to support and encourage you.  None of the big challenges in life are ever completed without some road blocks, but with the help of those around you it can be a whole lot easier.

I have found that sharing my story with others has been more powerful than I ever imagined.  I was fortunate to be part of a group in the Biggest Loser at work.  That group provided a lot of encouragement and support.  I am truly grateful to that group for that.  When we moved I felt more on my own. This resulted in a real off track trek down a much too familiar road.  Luckily I found my way back on track, with the help of some good friends.  Since I have gotten back on track this year, I reached out more to my friends and shared a lot on Facebook.  The support people have provided to me has been amazing.

I have been overwhelmed and honored by the number of people that have shared their stories about beginning exercise or changing their eating habits because of my journey.  This means more to me than I could ever possibly put into words.  It has been one of the most amazing side effects of this whole process.  To live your life and try to strive for the best person you can be is tough, but to know that your positive actions have a impact on others makes every drip of sweat worthwhile.  

Obviously, I have been deeply touched by those that have reached out to let me know of my impact, but there is yet another twist in this connection.  Not only have I helped them in some way on their journey, but they have ended up being the saving grace on mine.  I am not proud of it, but I have certainly fallen, failed, stumbled or whatever you want to call it along the way.  These people that were once inspired in some way by what I had done were the exact same people that caused me to pick myself up and move on.  To those people I can never express my immense gratitude.  

This is where sharing my story has been so valuable.  I have gained an amazing amount of support, encouragement and the occasional kick in the pants.  When I feel weak it is the energy of these people that keeps me strong.  I strive to pay this forward through my friendships and support of others.  I can't say this for everyone in my life, but I can guarantee every one of my friends and more than likely anyone that confronts me for support the following:

I will never be disappointed if you fall short of a goal, stumble along the way or let old, bad habits return

I will be there to remind you of that goal and support you in any way possible

I don't expect perfection, but I do expect honesty.  This is the key to so many things in life.  Sometimes honesty has an unexpected outcome. 

Whatever your journey might hold I hope it is full of the love, support and the beauty that others bring to it.

There Will Be Days Like This!!

There are many days where I start out so strong and powerful, but then I make a stupid choice before the day is over.  This morning I woke up early, grabbed a granola bar and jogged to the gym.  Once there I did 45 minutes on one of the cardio machines.  After I was done at the gym, I walked the 1.25 miles back home.  

I made good food choices throughout the day, but by afternoon I felt so hungry and wanted to eat everything in sight.  I pushed off the temptations and lectured myself on the consequences of a bad food choice.  I have been so frustrated with my lack of weight loss that I should be militant about the calories, carbs, sodium, etc..

Tonight I am sad to report that my weak side won.  Now that I have consumed the forbidden food I feel guilty as heck.  I know that guilt will get me no where; therefore, I am just going to track the bad food, like the good ones.  This holds me accountable for this bad decision and reminds me of it.  Then I am going to move forward, make the right decisions and do my best.

The lesson to be learned today is that I am human.  Everyday on the journey is not going to be perfect, I am going to make some bad choices, but I can't let them control me.  I have found in my experience that once I let the guilt creep in, the journey gets harder and I have a higher likelihood to completely run off course. The best way to deal with these bad choices is to accept them and move on. Tomorrow is another day!

Reasons, Motivations and More

One of the main reasons I have wanted to lose weight throughout my life has been to look a certain way.  At times it was even about revenge.  I wanted to strut a thin beautiful body in front of those that rejected me because of my weight.  The truth is I was better off without those people. If you can't look past the outside and love what is inside a person you are not worthy of their love.  

I feel truly blessed to have a husband that fell in love with me when I was well over 200 pounds.  He loved me at 300 pounds, and he loves me now.  I feel badly for the women that can't gain 10 pounds without their man commenting or even insulting them.  

As the years pass and my life has changed, my reasons for wanting a thinner, healthier body have changed.  Sure I want to look good and turn some heads.  Who does not want that, right?  However, that reason is not at the top of the list anymore.  Now it is about setting an example and creating a new trend in my family.  

Many generations of my family have been overweight.  I know my children will have a predisposition to be overweight, but I want to instill in them a lifestyle that will make the fat cells have to work really, really hard to win them over.  Exercise will hopefully be part of their daily lives and not something they have to force into it.  Even now I have overheard them talking about exercise or going to the gym in their imaginative play.  That fills my heart with joy.  

I am pleased to say that I am no longer alone in my fight to change the overall direction this family is headed.  My sister joined the journey to a healthier and more fit lifestyle.  She too is charting a course for her son to be healthy throughout his life.  Her husband in full support of her new lifestyle made these changes with her.  They have both had a huge amount of success and are now seeing numbers on the scale that have not shown for years.  It is great to have more of the family on this path with me.  The support of family is such an amazing thing.

My brother's son has also charted a path to a new healthier lifestyle.  His accomplishments inspire me.  He is an amazing kid and is destined for greatness. 

I never felt my weight kept me from achieving things in my life, until I lost a lot of it.  My boss even commented on the transformation.  As the weight came off new confidence emerged.  I felt better, looked better and it showed!  

"I want to be the type of person my dog already thinks I am."

This quote comes to my mind a lot lately.  Not because I want to be the person Max thinks I am; because, I already know I am totally awesome. LOL  This has popped into my brain and been reworded lately.  It sounds something like this, "I want to see the person that others appear to see when they look at me."

When I am at the pool, the mall, the beach or most of anywhere I see someone and say that is what I want to look like.  The person I am with will comment that I am almost the same size as the individual I have pointed out.  In my brain I am thinking they must be crazy because I am no where close.  This has happened more than a few times now, so I am starting to think they are seeing something I don't.  At first, I just figured it was flattery or they just really loved me.

Losing weight has definitely had an impact on my self image.  When I was close to 300 pounds there was a much smaller version of myself in my head.  She was really good at convincing me there was no harm in having that milkshake, pizza or bowl of cereal.  Really how much harm could a few extra calories have, you deserve it, it has been a rough day, or some other reason would be presented.  It never took me long to agree with her.  As long as I avoided mirrors and did not have my picture taken, I never had to face the truth.

So you might be asking what happened to this when I lost weight.  Well, it was not exactly what I was expecting.  Now the person in my head has gained much of the weight I have lost.  That darn fat girl can certainly tell me what I can't do too.  I find she will appear when I am jogging or pushing myself really hard.  She is there creeping doubt into my head about my efforts to be successful on this journey. I may have to battle her for a while, but with each passing day I am getting stronger.

Whatever in your life you are trying to change; whether it is losing weight, eating healthier, taking on a new challenge, there will be obstacles and there might even be that voice inside your head saying it can't be done. I am here to tell you that it can be done.  The journey might take longer than you expect, there might be more obstacles and setbacks than you want, but you can do it.  Take it one day at a time.  You can't change the past, but you can learn from it.  The present is a great time to do something to change your future.  Don't wait one more minute to start, reconnect with or continue your journey to success.

Hello My Name is Molly and I am....

Nope I am not an alcoholic, but sometimes I feel like food has been an addiction for years of my life.  I can't remember a time in my life where food was just food to me.  It has been something that provided comfort when I was upset, entertained me when bored, was the center of a social gathering or a way to celebrate an accomplishment.  I have become very aware of all the roles food plays in my life. I have also learned a lot about exercise and the role it must play in my life to have overall health. I don't claim to have this thing all figured out, but I want to share my journey.

I have been overweight for the majority of my 36 years.  I can remember as far back as elementary school being weighed and the horrible feeling of being the kid over 100 pounds.  I was on Weight Watchers in high school and did crash diets to lose weight.  My weight has been a struggle for a long time.

Three years ago my company started a program called Biggest Loser.  It was exactly what I needed to get me headed in the right direction.  I had lost some weight from my heaviest of 298, but I was headed back in the wrong direction.  With the help of some amazing friends, family and trainers I started down a new path in September 2009.  It has not always been easy, I have not kept every pound off, but something has definitely changed.

In the winter of 2010 I completed the second year of Biggest Loser with a second place finish.  I was down to 178 pounds.  This was a 120 pound loss from a little less than three years prior.  I had also completed a half marathon and was preparing for my second one.  I had exercised at least 4-5 days a week for over a year.  Things were great!

In the summer of 2011 we had a major life change.  I took a new position with my company and moved my family to Virginia.  I had already put back on some weight while preparing for the move, but I was determined to not let the move affect my new lifestyle.  This was successful for a while, but all the changes, trying to set up a new routine, stress of living a new place won.  I stopped working out and started to gain weight.  However, there was still this voice in my head reminding me of what I should be doing.  That voice was something new, and I felt it would not go away until I did something about it.

Unfortunately, that day did not come soon enough.  I got up to 215 before I could not stand to buy another size larger clothes.  I went through my closet and made a stack of all the clothes there were now too small.  It was a huge stack and a gigantic motivator.

In April of this year I decided to turn things around.  I was determined to fit a workout into my day, whether it was at lunchtime, after work or before my day started.  I have been back on the right path for roughly five months.  There have definitely been some speed bumps and detours.  Those things are going to be there, but I have learned the hard way that you must allow yourself to mess up and just return right to where you veered off.

I hope to share my challenges, successes, tips and stories about my journey.  May they bring you joy, strength and some encouragement in whatever you struggle to achieve.