What Motivates Us to Change?

I have often wondered how I stayed motivated during the beginning of this weight loss journey. It was a time of tremendous change.  My eating habits were altered, I began to include exercise as a regular part of my life and a pretty miraculous transformation began.  

As I look back on the early part of my weight loss it all appears so easy now.  Whether it was or not at the time is no longer obvious to me.  Then I turn to try to understand where my motivation came from. There must have been something pushing me to make all those changes and keep me headed in the right direction.  Was it the Biggest Loser contest at work, the friends I made that shared the new lifestyle and the struggles of adjustment to it, the trainer that pushed me beyond where I thought my limits resided or was it something inside me that wanted to break the cycle for good.  I am not sure I am any closer to knowing where that strength came from.  However, I do know that at times like this I long for the answer.  I want some magical switch that will align everything to make the struggles I experience with weight easier. 

I know that my challenges will always be something that I have to battle.  Even if I were to lose all these remaining pounds I will have to fight to keep them off.  Maybe I will get closer to the answer of what motivates me to be on the right track and what steers me off.  It would seemingly make all this much easier.  

I am still amazed by all the mental aspects of struggles with weight and eating.  I see it everyday where people hide their emotions in food.  Heck I have been guilty of rewarding my children with dinner out or ice cream to celebrate an accomplishment.  Food has some serious misuse in our society, and I am among the abusers.  Food is like an old relationship that is destructive to my well being.  Sure I know that it is not a healthy relationship and that I would be better off to get it out of my life, but something draws me back into those old habits time and time again.

So I am left to ponder where my motivation lies in those times of focus and progress.  Is it something tangible that can be grasped for help to fight the fat girl with all her emotional eating or something buried deep inside that periodically comes to the surface but can be easily pushed back down without focus.  I have a lot of determination, will power and I thrive on getting what I want.  Seems like all the pieces are there, but something is still missing from time to time.  My search continues....