Each time I entered the gym to do a strength routine my eyes would instantly dart to every corner of the gym to survey the crowd. Would this be a day where the weights would be skipped for something I felt more comfortable doing in front of other people? Or perhaps there was no one in the gym and no fear of looking foolish. I remember days when I headed to the gym for a good weight session, made it half way through and ended up on the bike again because of an irrational fear of what others might think.
When I started my 12 week weight lifting program in October it required equipment that I did not have available at home. Therefore, I had to come face to face with this. It was important for me to complete this routine, and I knew what was necessary for it to happen. The first week in the gym was rough, and I even skipped a few exercises because I was not confident in my ability to perform them well. However, as the weeks passed I became more and more comfortable. As I neared the end of the 12 weeks I walked into the gym with very little regard to the people around, did my work and left. I had conquered this fear or so I thought.
After the 12 weeks ended, I was starting P90X, and was looking at doing it at the gym. So that first day heading into the gym with a new routine in hand my heart was racing. However, with the success of the last 12 weeks behind me, I got it done. Then I returned for each day after that. So I had overcome this anxiety and gained confidence in myself through the process. BUT... There was still one exercise that I was still not comfortable doing. The dreaded burpee around anyone that was not of direct relation to me was absolutely terrifying. I could barely do three of them without feeling completely exhausted. Therefore, as I started the 30 day burpee challenge this was a real concern.
I am very happy to report that two weeks ago I stepped in the gym and faced this fear head on. I have now done burpees in the gym, in my office, in front of my coworkers and even in a park. My burpees are far from awesome, but man have they come a long way.
Although this growing experience on the surface seems to be all about my caring less about what other people think, I believe it is more than that. I began to realize that this was about me. I was doing these exercises to better myself, my body and my life. Therefore, none of these people that I was so worried about really have a place in this process or the right for me to allow them to disrupt it. This journey has been very personal for me. Even though my family, friends and a few complete strangers have been impacted by it, I am doing this for me!
Thankfully I have come to a place where I don't care what they think about my form or physical ability. This journey is one of a very personal nature, and I am truly happy that it now resides in its proper place. Who cares what other people think about what I am doing. I am not doing it for them!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment