So since no one, at least that I know, can change it we need to focus on the now. We can control the choices we make in this moment. It might be how we react to that bad thing that just happened, handling the memory of that choice from the past that comes back to our minds, occurrences in our childhood, the decisions of a loved one or a missed opportunity. Our reaction to each of these things can change our lives forever. We can choose not to forgive someone else for a mistake and live without them. We can let someone cutting us off in traffic ruin our whole day and cause us to react negatively to other people in our lives. We can blame our parents for anything we don't like about ourselves. However, at the end of the day you are left with yourself and your choices.
I lost an old friend a while ago and although we had not been in contact for years it was really tough. I found myself wondering if I could have done something different in our time together to change the fate of their life because it seemed so unfair that they were taken so young. I obsessed over any time that I could have treated them better, been more supportive, etc.. These things can torture you, but at the end of the day it can't be changed. Additionally, I made a very difficult decision many years ago that left a gap in our lives. I know that this was necessary, but sometimes it surfaces and is hard to relive. In these times where the past surfaces and seems to be pulling me to second guess decisions, contemplate possible alternate outcomes and different paths that could have been taken... I try to remember there is no going back, no changing it. There have been and will be more things that happen in life that will be difficult, but the best decision must be made and continue moving forward.
This is your life and you are in control of the now. You can make decisions and have reactions that create new opportunities or ruin chances for success, enhance the lives of others around you or not. It is up to you. Sure we are going to mess things up from time to time, hurt those that we love and take the wrong turn. Don't dwell on it. Instead ask for forgiveness, if necessary, keep the lesson learned for the future and move forward.
There is also this looming future that we can spend hours worrying about, guessing what might happen and in the end the result is a lot of lost time in the present on a fictitious future. Another complete time waster. Not many people can truly predict the future. Sure the way we handle the now will impact the future, but there is no need to dwell on what might happen. Making the best decision at this moment will give you the future that is intended to happen. Just continue focusing on the now, making the best choices you can and learning from your mistakes.
You can't dwell on what has happened, decisions that were made or the impact others allow us or don't allow us to make in their lives. Also, it is unnecessary to spend hours wondering what an outcome will be or the results of a decision you have made. The goal must be to do in the present moment the best you can and savior it.
All we really have at any given time is that moment, and I, for one, want to be better about remaining present without the baggage from the past and the worry of the future. I guess it is similar to the quote that says something to the affect of if you spend too much time looking at the closed door you miss all the other ones that open up. Don't let life slip by while you are stuck in the past or worrying about tomorrow. What has happened can't be changed and tomorrow is going to happen whether we worry about what it holds. Live for today and make it the best you can.
When I focus on the now and live in the present moment I find things less stressful, feel happier and there is a strong sense of peace.
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