Even the Crappy Days End Alright

I had a feeling when I awoke at 3:30 with nausea and could not go back to sleep that it might be a rough day.  I tossed and turned for over an hour before finally falling back to sleep.  When the alarm went off I was not ready to spring out of bed and opted for coffee before a shower.  This was helpful and allowed me to be much nicer to those I encountered during that first hour of the day.

The remainder of the early morning moved along well.  However, not long after starting my day at work I was struck with a familiar yet terrible feeling.  My anxiety was shooting up and fast.

My whole body was tense, and I was finding it really hard to connect my thoughts. I was on the verge of a full panic attack.  It is hard to explain these situations to someone that has never had them.  The best I can explain how I feel when it happens is that I realize I am freaking out, and I know that there is usually no logical reason for it. However, there is absolutely nothing I can do to shut it down.  I have tried meditating and breathing and both were useless for it.  Luckily I have medicine for these, even though few and far between, and I quickly called Kent to bring it to me.

As the medicine started to kick in I could feel everything begin to settle and my neck, which had been completely tensed was beginning to release.  Because the medicine helped to calm everything I was able to make it through the day.

When I came home from work I struggled a little bit with whether to work out and do my yoga.  Since I was feeling almost back to normal I decided to get it done.  I did my body weight workout, which was
pretty tough.  There were a few times I wanted to just quit and use the excuse of a hard day.  However, pushing myself past those feelings actually seemed to help me process through the events of the day.

As we all settled into our rooms for the night I did my yoga, and it also pushed me quite a bit more than normal.  As I pushed through I realized at the end that I felt accomplished and more at peace.

As I wrap up my day I realize that although it had ups and downs today was beautiful.  It had some of the best and not so great.  However, in the end the big picture is still pretty darn amazing.  So I guess
my lesson for today is that when life throws me a curve ball I have to acknowledge it, work through it and then move beyond it.  Sometimes
the tougher moments are there to show us how fortunate we truly are in life.

Anxiety is a tough thing.  I suffer from it rarely, and feel for those who suffer regularly.  It is not something they can just smile out of, breath away or anything else. Please be gentle to those around you because we could all use more love and compassion.

I hope that you may find the sunshine at the end of the rain and the happy ending at the end of your not so great day.  May you still find reason at the end of each day to look back with gratitude for it all.