The Journey Continues... Always Amazed by Where This Leads Me...

So I spent much of December sick and even began the new year with a nice stomach flu.  This time of illness and recovery was littered with bad eating and very rare trips to the gym.  A part of me began to believe I could easily slip into my old ways.  That voice in my head even began to justify my decisions not to work out and the bad food.  Luckily I know where these breaks end up, and I have no desire to see that place again.

I started back to the gym on a regular basis in late December and have been going pretty routinely since.  I have also started a new mission to become better at Burpees.  If you have had the pleasure of doing these, you might think I am totally insane.  However, they are a great overall body workout and mine are pretty pathetic.  I am doing them 4-6 days a week, and they really are improving.  No where close to pretty, but won't get there without practice.

On the food front, I did not make any great strides until last week.  I have been experiencing stomach issues for the last year or so.  The doctor has done ultrasounds, bloodwork, etc..  Since that did not show anything and the diagnosis started to point toward some mental delusions, I decided to do some research.  I had a lot of the symptoms that pointed to a food intolerance.  Therefore, last Wednesday I started a new challenge, an elimination diet.  Luckily, Kent is not only supporting me from the sidelines but has also jumped into the diet with me.

10 days ago we woke up to our first day without dairy, gluten, eggs, sugar, caffeinated beverages, soda and corn for what will likely be a little over a month.  For two weeks we eliminate all these things totally.  In week 3 we begin testing each possible culprit and analyze the effects on our bodies.  I have been fascinated by what I have observed so far.

I always assumed that weight fluctuations were totally normal.  I would wake up and weigh myself on Monday and be 183.  On Tuesday I would be 187 and then Wednesday was 184.  Since eliminating this things, my weight is insanely consistent.  Happy to report that it has consistently gone down each day, but I have not had any fluctuations.  I am also almost completely craving free.  Yes I am hungry at times and I want to eat, but it is nothing compared to what I once felt.  Now I can wait for the good food to be ready and not grab the first food available.

Even though I am doing this to locate the culprit of my stomach issues I really hope to never return to the eating I had before.  It is obvious the food I was eating before was not good for my body.  I would like to create a new eating that has a foundation in my current plan.  Of course this elimination also has a pretty cool side effect.  I am down 6 pounds.  I did not do this for weight loss, but I am certainly going to accept it.

I continue to be in awe of life and this journey.  It takes me places I have never been or even thought I was possible of going.  

Taking Time to Heal and Refocus

I have found that being sick can really mess up a good streak of working out and eating right.  It has been a week since I tracked my food and over a week since I last visited the gym.  

This long interruption to what has become my norm was not caused by just a common cold or a simple 24 hour flu. No sir!  This break was courtesy of a super nasty power flu,  That same famous flu that cancelled Thanksgiving plans, kept kids out of school for a week and sent grown men and women to bed for days at a time.  Even in the recovery days we are left with lingering coughs, sore bodies and days before bodies begin to feel normal again.  

During the last week I have craved comfort foods or no food at all.  I have lounged in my pajamas all day eating pizza, ice cream, take out from favorite restaurants, etc...  It was great, well aside from the flu symptoms that is.  However, I know as well as anyone this can't last forever.  If I head down this path much longer, the only thing that awaits me is cellulite, weights that start with a 2 and months of working hard to lose the same weight all over again.  No thanks!  

Although I still have a few days before I can feasibly get this achy body back to the gym, I know the focus needs to be return to exercise and eating right.  This was just another vacation from what must remain my new lifestyle   Sometimes life slows us down with illness and other hard times to help us refocus and return with new strength.  Tomorrow will be the return to tracking my food, and I truly hope exercise can return by the weekend.  

If you took a break from your routine over the holidays due to travel, Thanksgiving feasts and leftovers, take this opportunity to get back on track with a new focus and a positive attitude.    

Mirror, Mirror.... Who the Heck is That Person??

Today I was on the elliptical machine in the gym and checked myself out in the mirror at the end of the room.  I was super surprised to see this very fit looking person.  When I work out I tend to focus on the flabby skin that is flopping around or what looks like a large thigh.  I am pleased to see that it might not be nearly as scary an image to other people.

It still amazes me when I catch just the right glimpse of myself in the mirror and have to look again to make sure that really is me.  The image of myself in my head is still so overweight that I almost forget what I really look like.  I am not a super model, by any means, but I have come a long way.  I just hope that my self image catches up with me someday.

I have roughly 30 more pounds to lose and it is coming off really slow.  It might be months before I finally see that number, but I just keep moving forward.

Everyday holds new challenges, obstacles and decisions.  With each one I try to do my best.  That is really all we can ask of ourselves.  I know to never eat a bad food again is unrealistic, but making it a rare occasion as opposed to a daily activity is realistic.

Motivation Where Art Thou??

I will never tell you that this weight loss stuff is easy and that you never fall off the wagon.  Although I have not fully hit the ground, I am hanging onto the wagon.  I am happy to report that this year has been much better than last.  By November of last year I had done a beautiful jump off the wagon, run the other direction and forgotten all about the right path.  In fact, I had already packed back on 10 pounds.

Sure it does seem to be the time of year when I want to hibernate and pack on the pounds.  I like to blame this on my ancestors that lived in caves.  Each year as they headed into winter they had to add weight to stay warm during the winter months.  Maybe I need to pitch my tent outside each winter.  So when you are freezing this winter I will be nice and warm in my layer of fat.

The good news is that I am feeling more motivated with each day.  I am also feeling pretty determined to not allow this weight to creep back on this year.  I am finding that my motivation is much lower than a month or two ago.  I am holding onto the cardio workouts, the eating comes and goes, but the strength training has completely vanished.  I am truly amazed by the minds ability to be completely committed to something and then turn it off without much warning.

I continue to take things one day at a time.  If I miss a cardio workout, I focus on getting it done the next day.  If I have a day where the eating is completely off course, I track it and do better the next day.  Even if the bad habits last for a few days, I just have to make a fresh start the next day.  It is all about forgiving and moving forward.

Tomorrow is a new day and full of possibilities.  May it be filled with strength, happiness and love.

Cleaning up Your Life...

Why is it that we often keep something in our lives that we know is not good for us?  This could be bad food in our house, a bad habit that affects our health mental or physical or a friend/lover that is no good for us.  It is fascinating how you know that severing ties with this thing will bring you to a whole new level of health, but each time the thought crosses your mind you find an excuse to keep it around.  You don't want to experience life without this thing, but is it really making your life better.

Most people would look at your situation and see how easily it can be changed.  They would think you are so silly for keeping it in your life.  Just get rid of that food that you know will hurt your weight loss. Stop visiting the corner bakery that has those donuts you can't refuse, even if it is a family tradition.  These things probably even seem trivial to others.  However, when you are sit down to contemplate life without some of these things it just does not seem right.

Everyday is a step further in the journey of life, and my trip to better health.  I am beginning to look at more regarding my mental health.  That is where the above analysis comes into play.  I am looking at bad habits and people that don't enhance my mental and physical health. I feel my mental health can have a huge impact on my physical health and my success on the weight loss portion of my journey.  Sometimes it is not easy to say goodbye to things that have been a part of life, but it can open doors to things you never considered.

Set out today to start new healthier traditions, build up the relationships in your life that make you stronger, let those that hurt or weaken you fade and build new healthier habits.  Whether it is your mental or physical health enhanced by these changes you will feel better, stronger and refreshed.

May your life be full of love, happiness and strength.  

Frustrated!!!!

I have recently become very frustrated with the exercise portion of this journey.  I have been very deligent in exercising six days a week.  The cardio has become a normal part of my life.  I don't get up as early as I once did with the excitement of another workout, however, I get the exercise in before the day is through.  This is important to me because I find exercise makes me feel better, look better and eat better.  If I put in a good 45 minutes in the gym, I am less likely to eat bad food for fear of erasing all that hard work.

Lately I have a lot of questions about what cardio I should be doing, what strength training I should be doing and what foods I should eat to fuel these workouts appropriately.  I have read a few articles, talked to people in the fitness field and I don't feel much closer to the right answer.  The articles are most frustrating because one will say keep your heartrate low and another will say to do intervals, which raise your hearrate. 

At this point, I want someone to write a plan for me.  I need a list of what I should do and when for the best results.  Of course I have also learned that what works for one person may not necessarily work for me. 

My main complaint is this:  I work pretty hard each week to eat right and exercise.  I want to make this time as worthwhile as possible.  Therefore, I want to make sure I am getting the most results from every moment of exercise I put into a day.  So I will keep researching and looking for the exact right recipe for success.  Until I find that magic mixture I will just keep doing what I am doing.  As long as I am losing weight and building muscle the frustration won't get too bad. 

Do You Have a Mount Everest?

I wonder how many people have the sort of goals and dreams in life that drive them to stop at nothing to achieve them.  I can't say that I feel like I have ever had that kind of determination to reach something.  Certainly I work hard at this weight loss and health thing, but I am talking about the type of determination where you will stop at nothing short of the desired goal.

Recently I became very fascinated by the psychology of human motivation and determination. Equally so, I want to learn more about the mental part of me that hinders my success in certain areas. I have thought at times that it might be attributed to self concept.  I am not fully aware of all the impacts being overweight has had to my self image, confidence and self esteem.  More than likely I could benefit from really exploring that area.

I am reading a book about a man's experience while climbing Everest.  This book definitely feeds my interest in human dreams, goals, ambitions and what someone will go through to achieve them.  Never having known anything about climbing Everest I did not realize the length it takes, the horrible circumstances they must endure and the physical discomfort that comes along with it.  This is a great example of a goal or dream that someone will risk anything to achieve.  You have to want with all of your being to climb Everest to endure these things.  So how does someone get to that point...

It seems like a silly thing to risk your life for, but for a lot of these people it is a matter what they feel they live to do.  They can't get it out of their head until it is accomplished.  Of course my other thought is...what would be next???  If you have this life long goal and you finally reach the summit, what's next???  Do you go and find something else or is the satisfaction from that enough to last a lifetime?

I definitely don't understand all the goals that mean so much to others, but that does not make them crazy or stupid.  If someone has a dream or goal that they want with all their being, I say go for it.  It is worse to look back and wonder then to go and conquer your Mount Everest.