Give Thanks

As I head out for my daily therapy, exercise, I can't help but feel grateful for all that I have been given.  First and foremost I thank God that I have the physical ability to run/jog/walk, for this beautiful day to enjoy being outside and for helping me see the need for change in my life so many years ago.

I give thanks to my mother who will be watching my children while I get to enjoy partnering with Kent for today's workout.  When I get to enjoy time with one of my favorite people doing one of my favorite things it just starts the day out right.

Kent is not always the most willing participant in my exercise ventures, but he is a good sport.  He has not come to my level of obsession with working out, but any chance he gets, he is right there beside me for my adventures. It is nice to share the time and to have his company.

May today remind you of the many ways your life has been blessed.  Take a few minutes to be grateful, remind the people in your life of your thanks and celebrate life each day.

Until next time.....



 

How Did I Ever Live Without You??

Now that I have found you it seems like I must have felt like there was something missing without you in my life.  I remember a time I felt my life was complete without you, however, it has been made better because of your presence in it.  This statement applies to so many things in my life.

Three of the most important people in my life came at a time that I did not expect, but the amazing impact has been felt daily since their arrival.

When I first met Kent I was not interested in finding the man I was going to marry or even a serious relationship. However, I am grateful that there was a power at work that knew better and helped me open up to these possibilities. Kent continues to be a great partner in this journey through life.  I appreciate the relationship we have, the support he provides and the family we have created together.

With each of our children life has changed in the most amazing ways.  They have each been the best thing that has ever happened to me.  To become a parent changes your focus, provides new clarity and makes your life take on a new meaning.  They continue to amaze me each day through their growth, intelligence, independence and love.  They are definitely the most amazing gift, and I love that I get a front row seat as I watch them grow.  They also help keep my priorities in the right place.

Moving to Virginia was definitely not something we spent years planning or expected as part of our lives. There were a lot of concerns about how the children would adjust, how secure the job would be and leaving a place that was home to enter an unfamiliar land.  But as a family we decided to not look back and wonder about possibilities, but instead to change direction and see where it would lead us.  Great experiences have resulted from this move.

These are great examples of ways life takes you in new directions, oftentimes in unexpected ways.  Don't be scared to take that chance or make the change because it might be the best step you ever take.

That Magic Number

When I weighed over 300 pounds even being less than 200 seemed impossible.  I am happy to say that is has been over 18 months since stepping on the scale to a number that began with 2.  

I would imagine this journey is the same as with a lot of large accomplishments in life.  When you look at it from a distance it seems unobtainable, impossible and all you see is the hard work necessary to get there. Once you get the momentum going and you reach ever closer to that line, it starts to come into a realistic view.  Before you know it you are there.  You bath in the glory of a moment, you celebrate, you feel great and there is a new piece of yourself discovered.  Then your attention turns to this new body you have created and ways to yet again change it.  You begin to see the extra 30-40 pounds as the new enemy that must be conquered.

Although I can look back and physically see through pictures the accomplishment and the transformation I have achieved, my perspective has changed.  As a person that weighed 280 + for years I remember being frustrated when I heard people the size I am now or smaller talk about being overweight.  As I saw it they were the perfect size, and I wanted so badly to need to only lose the 20-30 pounds they were fussing about.  I now see so much of it is about where you are, where you have been and your personal experiences.  I wanted to see a weight less than 250, then 220, and then below 200.  Now there is a new magical number that I long to see on that scale, however, it continues to elude me.

So maybe it is time for a change, something different to seek, a new goal....maybe even something totally separate from the scale all together.  I want to learn to be happy where I am weight wise.  I certainly want to continue focusing on eating right and staying active, but I want it to be about enjoying life and no longer a battle with the scale.

For now I will shift my focus to exercise.  I have begun to look at my trips to the gym as stress relief, time to relax and time for just me.  I will continue to transform my body each day through exercise because this is something that brings a great amount of satisfaction and joy to my life. This journey can not be all about a number on the scale.  It is a journey to a healthier, happier and more fulfilling life.

It has been too long....

I can't believe how long it has been since I wrote here.  A pretty significant event has occured.  Although I have been very consistent with cardio workouts for years, I have not found much success with strength training until recently.

In July, I found a weightlifting routine that did not look too time consuming, but promised results.  I figured with my history of starting and stopping quickly what did I have to lose.  Today I completed the last Monday in the 12 week routine!  I almost can't believe what I have accomplished.  In just a few days I will complete my first full 12 week weightlifting routine, and I am pleased to say you can see a difference when I flex my muscles.  (ha, ha)

Now it is time to plan for what is next.  With the confidence in what I can do, the results I have achieved and some support from those around me, I feel good about this next step toward new strength.

On another subject, I have a new project that I want to complete.  I really want to create a video of pictures and videos that document my weight loss journey so far.  I am sure there will be more milestones down the road, but I want something to represent up to this point.  Getting started on this has proved to be hard because I know how I would like for the end result to look, but getting there seems to be eluding me.  Something to look forward to.... I hope.

Lastly, there are a few things I find that help remind me of where I want to head in life, where I want to lead my children and how I want to inspire other people in health and fitness.  I like to look at pictures of the old me and find they help remind me of all the reasons I don't want to get back to that place.  I try to encourage my children to find ways to remain active, talk to them about fitness and even include them in workouts at home.  The final piece is missing for me.  I want to inspire others to make the changes they want,  Whether it is through support, encouragement or being someone to just listen.  I thought about becoming a trainer, but I don't think that is the right place.  Therefore, I continue to search for areas to explore and ways I might help others on their journey.

Till next time.....

New Beginnings...

Sometimes I wonder how many times I can possibly have a fresh start, get back on track or have a new beginning on this journey.  I am sure there are people that start something and never slip into bad habits again.  Maybe they find that perfect solution right from the start and it fits perfectly.   This journey has been a lot of trial/error and stops/restarts for me, and I am OK with that.

When I look back at this journey, so far, I don't see a perfectly straight path.  No, my path to success seems to be bumpy and has some turn offs.  However, I have always reminded myself that this will happen, and I have to just keep moving forward.  As long as I continue to keep in mind that I must return to the journey, I won't beat myself up about these side trips. 

So here is to another new beginning.  After an injury two weeks ago, I am back to working out regularly and started a new eating plan yesterday.  The first week is always the hardest, but I feel strong.  May this strength carry me through this phase of the journey and the many to come.  This battle won't be won overnight, but it is something I feel a passion to overcome, not only for myself, but for my family.

Frustration!!!

How is a journey that seems so easy at times so frustrating at others?  I drastically changed my eating habits a few weeks ago by starting an elimination diet.  I was amazed by the changes I could make and what was possible when I committed to something.  I lost 7 pounds in the first week, and I was pretty excited.

In the 5-6 weeks I tested all the major culprits and did not find the source.  However, I was fortunate my stomach only acted up twice during this time, and I felt much better overall.  After testing dairy and gluten, I learned their only impact seemed to be some quick weight gain.  Good reason to limit them.

The last 7-10 days has not been good.  I experienced an injury about 10 days ago and had to stop exercising because of the pain.  I tried some alternatives but used this time as more of an excuse to just get completely off track.  To compound this effect the doctor put me on steroids to help speed the healing in my foot.  This created an intense desire to eat everything in sight.  Needless to say I have veered completely off course, gotten out of the workout routine and just feel lousy.

So I have decided that tomorrow is a new day.  I am going to get up early, workout out and get back to eating right.  I truly believe that I want to beat this weight thing and become the physical person that I know is possible.  However, there must be something still standing in my way because success continues to be missed.  I had no idea how many mental components there are to this weight loss journey.

All I can do is look to tomorrow and make it count.  Each day I allow myself to slide backwards is another day of hard work erased.  I can't think of the big picture because it feels to overwhelming, but I can look at each choice and try to make the right one.  I am not going to win this battle overnight.  Instead it is going to be won one tiny step at a time.

Whatever your journey don't let these moments of weakness define you.  Everyone has a time they veer off track, they get lost in the wrong things, influenced by the wrong people, convince themselves that the wrong choice is right to learn later of its true nature, etc... You just have to regain focus and move forward with new intention.  

The Journey Continues... Always Amazed by Where This Leads Me...

So I spent much of December sick and even began the new year with a nice stomach flu.  This time of illness and recovery was littered with bad eating and very rare trips to the gym.  A part of me began to believe I could easily slip into my old ways.  That voice in my head even began to justify my decisions not to work out and the bad food.  Luckily I know where these breaks end up, and I have no desire to see that place again.

I started back to the gym on a regular basis in late December and have been going pretty routinely since.  I have also started a new mission to become better at Burpees.  If you have had the pleasure of doing these, you might think I am totally insane.  However, they are a great overall body workout and mine are pretty pathetic.  I am doing them 4-6 days a week, and they really are improving.  No where close to pretty, but won't get there without practice.

On the food front, I did not make any great strides until last week.  I have been experiencing stomach issues for the last year or so.  The doctor has done ultrasounds, bloodwork, etc..  Since that did not show anything and the diagnosis started to point toward some mental delusions, I decided to do some research.  I had a lot of the symptoms that pointed to a food intolerance.  Therefore, last Wednesday I started a new challenge, an elimination diet.  Luckily, Kent is not only supporting me from the sidelines but has also jumped into the diet with me.

10 days ago we woke up to our first day without dairy, gluten, eggs, sugar, caffeinated beverages, soda and corn for what will likely be a little over a month.  For two weeks we eliminate all these things totally.  In week 3 we begin testing each possible culprit and analyze the effects on our bodies.  I have been fascinated by what I have observed so far.

I always assumed that weight fluctuations were totally normal.  I would wake up and weigh myself on Monday and be 183.  On Tuesday I would be 187 and then Wednesday was 184.  Since eliminating this things, my weight is insanely consistent.  Happy to report that it has consistently gone down each day, but I have not had any fluctuations.  I am also almost completely craving free.  Yes I am hungry at times and I want to eat, but it is nothing compared to what I once felt.  Now I can wait for the good food to be ready and not grab the first food available.

Even though I am doing this to locate the culprit of my stomach issues I really hope to never return to the eating I had before.  It is obvious the food I was eating before was not good for my body.  I would like to create a new eating that has a foundation in my current plan.  Of course this elimination also has a pretty cool side effect.  I am down 6 pounds.  I did not do this for weight loss, but I am certainly going to accept it.

I continue to be in awe of life and this journey.  It takes me places I have never been or even thought I was possible of going.