And the Winner is..... A Bad Gallbladder!

I have been battling an ongoing medical issue for over 5 years.  After multiple tests, doctors visits and even a specialist, I finally got an answer that I already knew.  My gallbladder is not functioning.  

When I experienced my first attack five years ago I almost instantly knew what was happening.  My mother had her gallbladder removed around that same age, I had lost a large amount of weight and the attack was following a delicious but very greasy meal. The pain was very centralized to one specific area of my right side.  It had to be my gallbladder.  

After a brief doctor visit, I was scheduled for testing.  Once I finally got into that first ultrasound the attack had subsided, I felt great and we learned there were no gallstones.  Therefore, I went on with life until the next attack hit.  Another visit to the doctor with the same symptoms prompted blood work and scheduling another ultrasound.  Their belief was that with more than 6 months since the last one the results might have changed.  To no surprise from me the results were the same, and attack number two had subsided.  

The next attack resulted in a referral to a specialist to see what else could be done.  They were very hesitant to agree with my self diagnosis and wanted to rule out an ulcer.  Therefore, I was put on ulcer medication and sent home.  I was already post attack at this point so I can't say for sure whether the medicine helped or not.

I believe there was an attack or two that I let come and go without even going to the doctor out of sheer frustration.  However, the last attack occurred during a stomach flu last fall, and it was too terrible to ignore.  It resulted in a visit back to the specialist who said the next step was an endoscopy. Lo and behold my stomach was in great shape, and I was even given pictures to prove it.  They advised the next step was a Hidascan.  

Now you might say well why didn't you do the Hidascan then and not wait.  Well, shortly after the endoscopy was when I ended up in the hospital with my second DVT; therefore, more hospital bills were not high on my list, and of course we were way past the last attack at that point.  Amazing how different the priorities are based on whether currently having a gallbladder attack or post attack.  

So we get to this attack.  I rode it out for 10 days before finally giving in and making a doctors appointment.  He agreed that it had to be my gallbladder but felt no surgeon would talk to me without a Hidascan.  So today the test was performed, and within 2 hours of its completion my doctor called with the results.  My gallbladder is not working!!!

So finally we have the test results to support what I felt the answer was five years ago.  Surgery will be scheduled, and this series of attacks will end.  

I have felt at times that I was crazy and maybe I was making this up and wasn't in pain.  It feels good to know that I am not completely nuts.  

I feel the moral of this story is that when you know something doesn't feel right make sure you don't give up.  Sometimes you have to find the right doctor or the right test.  It is an awful feeling to know there is something wrong but nothing concrete to support it.  

It is important to allow your medical team to help guide you, but you must be an active participant. There were two times they wanted to do another ultrasound, and I demanded something different.  I refused to spend more money and come up empty handed once more.  

I am not excited about having surgery, but I am glad to finally have this resolved.  So don't give up, if you truly feel more needs to be looked at or tested.  It is your body, and you know it better than anyone.

Balancing Without Losing Myself

When I had my first blood clot 13 years ago it was a shock.  Sure I had read the birth control labels that you had a chance of clots and that smoking could increase that risk.  However, I never thought it could happen to me.  One of those things you file away and never comes to mind again.

In the months following my first clot I went through a lot of testing, and it was concluded that I did not have any genetic risk factors.  This clot seemed to logically be the result of birth control, smoking, being overweight and a long plane flight to Mexico without enough movement.  These things were easily eliminated or prevented in the future.  

Giving up smoking was tough at times and the thought of life without any hormones was rough; however, this all seemed very manageable.  I learned to get up and walk on flights and stop more frequently on car rides.  I was a bit slower to take care of the overweight/unhealthy part; however, over the years this became a very big part of my life.  

Many years later I found the only time my mind drifted to the clot was when my leg would swell and cause discomfort.  I never worried about another clot because the risk factors were eliminated or at least I truly believed they were.  

Fast forward to February 2016 and I am doing amazing. The fitness part of my life is right on track, I am eating well and things are just falling into place.  I am getting ready to sign up for my first mud run in a few years.  I am pumped up and just at the tail end of a burpee challenge.  

I wake up one morning to some abnormal swelling in my leg.  So here is where clot #2 enters my life. After a day of not really being concerned, the test confirms this is another clot and the present journey begins.  

I am currently six months post second clot.  We don't have much in the way of reasons for this one, except the previous clot and some borderline test results.  It is a bit frustrating not to have a concrete reason that I can just remove from my life.  I made the decision last week to remain on a preventative dose of the blood thinners.  This still does not sit well with me, but it appeared to be the most logical conclusion.  

Now begins the process of doing what I want but balancing the risks of another clot and side effects of this drug.  I love to travel, but I need to be more conscious of getting out on a regular basis.  I enjoy a few beers from time to time; however, I find that this can cause the leg to really be annoyed with me.  I love being physically active, hiking, doing race events, but I need to make sure I manage the risks of these things.  Here starts the balancing of risks and life.  I don't want to allow this medical condition to dictate my activities and enjoyment.  However, I must be aware of it in my decisions.

I want to continue doing what I want to do and pushing myself to explore areas outside of my comfort zone.  However, I will need to take more time to research and think through my next steps before I jump in.  This is just part of the balance to ensure enjoyment without too much unnecessary risk.

Throughout life we each face challenges of varying degrees.  Some are definitely more life changing than others and require a much tougher battle to fight.  However, each has to opportunity to change us or define us in a different way.  I want to remain focused in the face of these challenges and not get lost in them.  

My Soul Needed That

I started out the weekend sleep deprived, anxiety filled, struggling with stomach issues and ready to crawl into a hole for two days. Once we started to talk about going to the National Park and hiking everything began to turn around.  There is a peace that settles into my soul after hours of wandering in the woods. Nature is my second home, and I jumped at the opportunity to get out there.

Although my family is much less eager for these hikes, they willingly join me on these adventures.  They appear to have a great time once out there, but it can be painful to get them to the car.

These times walking in the woods are filled with some of my absolute favorite family moments.  We talk about life, dreams, hopes, school, friends and whatever comes to our minds.  I hear a lot of "I love you Mom" while on these hikes and that reinforces that I am not the only one finding peace among those trees.


Not only did we get to spend over 5 hours walking in the woods this weekend, but we also spent hours exploring new areas.  One of the many things I adore about my husband is the fact that he loves to wander off the beaten path.  He likes to take the road less traveled and find quiet places that many travelers would never see as they speed past on the main roads.  I feel blessed to have a partner that does not rush to the next destination and takes time to experience life at a slower pace.

As I wrap up this weekend I feel a sense of
peace that only comes from the experiences that filled the last two days.  We explored good local eateries, soaked in the beauty of nature, felt exhilaration climbing up and down mountains and had good quality time together.  It has helped rejuvenate my body and soul.  

I am truly blessed beyond measure to live in this beautiful area, be physically able to explore the trails and have such amazing company along the way.  I look forward to the next chance to hit the trails and hope it won't be too long off.

Live life to the fullest, love without limits and cherish every moment you get to spend with those you love.  May you get moments that fill your soul with peace and be a reminder of the many blessings present in your life.

Don't Let Others Take Your Joy

I have been guilty of allowing the opinions of others steal my joy at times.  It is such a worthless act to care what others think of your life choices, situation, circumstances, etc... They don't know your priorities and the hand you have been dealt.  To be honest it is none of their business.

I can't control what other people are going to think, but I do have the ability to change my reaction to it.  Instead of allowing myself to get angry I need to remember they obviously have no joy if they take their time finding faults in the what others do, none of which is hurting them.  

It is also important to remember these things when I feel the desire to have an opinion about someone else.  Best to remember that I don't know their circumstances or the road they have walked through life.  

We all make the choices that we feel are best for us and our loved ones.  We each have a unique set of priorities, circumstances and cards we have been dealt.  It is one of the miracles of life that we can embrace and love one another without having to believe, feel and live exactly the same way.  

Therefore, I will turn my recent frustrations with the judging from others into a reason to accept and love others even more freely.  Life is too short to waste time worrying about what other people think. Embrace your passion and live without regrets!

Being a Parent Through Childhood Transitions

Tomorrow starts a new school year and a time to reflect on the ways our children have changed and grown.  One of my biggest joys as a parent is watching them grow and change.  Even when they are being difficult and challenging a part of me enjoys seeing them become their own person.

My years as a parent have been some I truly cherish.  I enjoy each stage as much as the last, and I don't feel like it is speeding past. When I look back on Owen's elementary school years they have been so full of changes.  His personality, his love of learning, his interests and his love of reading have all flourished during these last six years.  He has had so many wonderful experiences and begun the journey into being a young man.  I thank his amazing teachers for their contributions to his learning and life.

He has been very nervous about transitioning to a new school and taking on these new responsibilities. I feel proud and a little anxious for him to become settled into this new routine and environment.  I hope his middle school experience is as great as possible.  I know it is an awkward time for almost everyone.

Last week we visited the school, met his teachers and walked to his classes.  He had a sense of pride when presented with his gym combo lock.  This seemed to help calm the anxious feelings about this new endeavor and instill a new sense of responsibility.

He has been very affectionate the last few days as we made the final preparations for the first day of school.  We also felt it was time for a room makeover which resulted in a space that he really enjoys.

Tonight we started toward bed early in preparation for tomorrow.  There was plenty of stalling, but they finally got off to sleep, and I wrapped up some things I had planned for after bedtime.

As I was headed to bed myself I checked on both kids.  While in Owen's room I noticed that he had neatly set out his clothes and shoes for tomorrow.  His alarm was set early for extra time to shower, eat and have some time to hang out before catching the bus.  It made me so happy to see he had taken the time to help prepare for his first day.

I am proud of the son Kent and I are raising.  Sure he knows how to push our buttons, argues to a fault and can be a real pain; however, I would not change a thing.  I adore the young man he is becoming.  I look forward to a successful first day of middle school for him and a great year.

Letting Go and Keep Moving On

I have found it difficult in life to walk away from something or make a change, even when I realize it would probably be the best thing for me.  This is true for a variety of situations where it feels like change is needed, but instead I resist and remain planted.  It is a battle within my own being.  I am constantly tugged to pull away or change and planting me deeper into place.

This has been a struggle with my weight loss, friendships, lovers, eating healthy, and the list could go on and on.  I see that my current situation or path is unhealthy or possibly littered with pain; however, I find reasons to justify remaining. Part is comfort in these familiar things, and change can most certainly be uncomfortable. However, we can't grow without it and sometimes changes bring the most magical things.  Taking that first step can be the hardest, but it brings promise, hope and opportunity.

Sometimes fear creeps in that I will fall back into the unhealthy pattern or situation. Why can't I just turn and never look back?  Is it the comfort, how good it makes me feel or the convenience of not changing. My brain can come up with one good reason after another to make the change or walk away, but somehow I counteract it in an effort to return to that familiar place.

There will be bumps along the way, but I must keep reminding myself to look deeper and maintain a healthy bit of skepticism.  Reevaluating friendships, goals and habits will help me remember to not linger too long in unhealthy places.

I have so many blessings and wonderful support to help me continue to move in the right direction.  I got this!

Here is to a bright future with many possibilities.  Changes will be necessary, taking on new challenges is a must and facing unfamiliar territory won't be done alone.  May it bring strength, health and happiness!

A Vacation From Reality

I am so fortunate to get time away from work, home and just general being an adult crap.  I find the best vacations are where when I return home it seems hard to face work, bills and responsibilities.  It might sound crazy, but those are the times that I realize that the past week was a total escape.  Yep the first few days home and back to work stink, but there is a small voice inside me saying, "heck yeah we know how to vacation right."

Our recent trip was awesome.  We really enjoyed ourselves, relaxed and recharged.  We got to see some really beautiful places, laughed and spend time with those we share so much love.

There are times that while doing finances I realize how much vacations impact the money we have; however, it is one of the best investments that I make.  It is not something that will fund my retirement or give me a big savings balance.  However, it is providing immeasurable things.  These are time together, life experiences and memories to last forever.  I hope these vacations grow a desire within my children to explore the world, experience new things and balance work and play as adults. I know people often wonder how I afford all these trips, and trust me they make an impact.  However, the sacrifices I make financially are more than worth it for me.

Life is going to throw a lot of things at you, and they won't always be easy to overcome.  However, I find that these times together are just the right medicine to realize the multitude of life's blessings.

The transition back to reality has been rough and returning to work will be tough.  The realization that I work hard to provide these amazing times for our family will keep me going.  We are so fortunate be able to spend these times together and give our children these experiences.  I have often said that I would live on bread and water before I give up traveling, and I still feel just as strong.

I have often read that it is better to give your children experiences and not material things.  I hope that my children grow up cherishing and appreciating the wonderful times that we have had together.   I look forward to our next adventure soon.