Things Just Don't Feel Right

Over the last 10-14 days it has really been a struggle to get myself to exercise and eat right.  I feel sort of like I am hanging on to the edge and barely have a grasp of this lifestyle that has defined me for so long.  It is a little scary to feel this close to losing the mindset that I became so accustomed to over the years.

I have searched to find the answer to what may have caused this change and where I might be able to find the me that makes all this so much easier.  Sure there have been some changes in my life, but it is nothing that warrants such a drastic transformation in my thinking, priorities and motivation.  To be honest there is part of me that worries I may have lost some or all of this person that juggles all life throws my way and remains focused on my health.  However, maybe she just needs a much needed rest and will return with new force soon.  

For now, I am left feeling lost. Exercise has been something I craved, a priority, a constant through all the craziness over the years and now I find I barely want to do it.  This just does not feel right at all.  Maybe that is a good sign because I don't want to it to become normal to me.  I just hope this is a temporary feeling.

With all that is going on I have decided to take a little break later this week.  I am hoping that with time off work I will be able to relax and rejuvenate.  I wish to return to a more centered place.  Life has been busy lately and that has not left much time to recharge.  I need a break, and I hope this proves to be exactly that.  May I return next week with a new outlook, motivation and determination. And if that is asking too much, I will just take three days of time without commitments and work.

Here's to next time I am here being about making that u-turn and returning to the me I have grown very fond of over the years.  She is one determined lady that takes to the gym with purpose and focus.  She remembers the fat years and fights to never return there.  She works hard to be healthy, tries to provide a great example to her kids and family of what can be done with a little determination and loves the feeling that is obtained from a really good workout.  She has goals that are still out there to be attained and can't let a little setback or some changes take her off track.  There is still work to be done.